DOC-U-MENTING

Crabby, yet not crabby.

I've been a busy one again.
Working, camping, going to the beach,
working, sleeping, eating awesome food, etc.
The summertime drill is all.
The three of us ended up swimming around
in that lake with our clothes on. It was a grand time.
We forgot our bathing suits, ya know, so we went with it.

Now that I've had some free time, I've been making some progress.
New little drawings are in the midsts,
soon to be mishmashed into little vintage paper collages.
I've had some random critters on the brain as you can see.

Oh yah, and cheesecake, of course.

I'm trying to change my approach to blogging these days.
I used to feel bad for not updating as often as I should, or even could.
But now, I'm starting to not feel so bad. Less and less. It's my life, after all.
I always wanted to keep superb consistency with this site, for the sake
of those of you who are so awesome and support me along the way. 
Yet the truth is, life is busy. Damn busy.
And life isn't about sitting in front of a computer.
No matter how pretty your iMac is.
In short, I'm taking the blogging without obligation approach from now on.

It's not that I want to share less with you, or I'm giving up on the site,
it's just that life is moving, altering, a transitioning phase taking hold really.
I want to savor my days and share the truth with you as it unfolds,
not as I try to force it into measly blog posts just for the sake of updating.
I guess I'm not one of those people cut out for daily blogging. I tried though. :)

Yet, I have too much going on and too much to experience for that, I think we all do.
I do hope to share progress of work during the week,
and updates of a documented life when I can though.
And of course there will always be new artwork and adventures to share.

Reality is, this blog, this project of documenting has always been a personal one,
shared here to inspire others and well, document for my own reasons.
My life is taking on a whole new aura and I'm sensing myself slowing down a bit.
And I'd rather not feel guilty about that. :) It's time to enjoy our days.

I'm ready. Aren't you?

-Mae Jane-

Meep

I'm here. And there. And everywhere in between.
A lot of consuming and not enough creating.
Tonight, the pencil meets the paper.
I work for the next three days, with
anticipation for the weekend.
Sunny skies, tents, and friends.

New-ish prints have been added to the shop! :)
www.maejane.etsy.com

Hello Job, Hello Summer

Oh where oh where have I been?

I've been stepping in ponds and chasing dogs.
I've been to the beach in crummy weather.
I've been to the beach in nice weather.
I've eaten chowder, clam cakes, and hamburgers.
I visited an abandoned military fort and climbed rocks.
I had a picnic with pickles and carrots and seagulls.
I've been upside down on roller coasters and spinny-rides.
I've gotten a sunburn three times.
I've had drinks by a late night fire.
I've attended a friend's college graduation party.
I sang my heart out to oldies on a road trip.
I planned my first camping trip with friends.
I cut my hair.
I watched the finale of LOST and still remain in denial that he is really dead.

   
    Among other things, I've mostly been working, working, and working. The new job is going well. The training was a bit overwhelming, what with being everyday and all day. But it was necessary. This week I finally start working my normal schedule which should feel nice to be able to get settled in a new routine, though I'm trying to avoid routines now. Dilemma dilemma..
   
    I've been so busy with trying to learn and remember things and not mess up at work that I haven't created any art at all in about a month. That makes me feel very empty. Tis why I've dedicated tonight and tomorrow to creating and brainstorming. And then shaking my bum to eighties music at night with the girls. Speaking of art though, some of my work is currently showing in a wonderful new gallery that opened in Brooklyn! Fact & Fancy at 75B Hoyt Street is having their very first show featuring over 25 undiscovered artists running from May 29th until July 11th. It's such an awesome gallery owned and operated by Christine and Danielle. Thanks again to them for asking me to be apart of it!

(My work is on the very bottom! :)

    And continuing on with my plans of getting back on track, some journaling shall be happening tonight as well. I gots myself a rather sleek and soft new Moleskine. It's perfect for writing stories from the core and brain. I also discovered a new book today. Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione. I wasn't looking for it, didn't know of it, yet it spoke to me from the shelves. And so tonight I read as well.

    Today was enjoyable, even if it was focused on errands and cleaning. Aside from the duties, I listened to classic rock (which is my all time favorite). I purchased fresh strawberries, Pink Lady apples, bananas, and key lime pie. I discovered the new book I mentioned. I helped a woman with her groceries at the market. I carried a 20lb bag of cat food effortlessly on my shoulder. I roamed Target and only bought what I actually went in for. I gathered up mushrooms, onions, and lemonade at the store. All because I woke up oddly early on my first real day off in a month. I am so glad to have some days off again. I've missed reading your blogs and twittering away on the interweb with you guys. I'm slowly finding my way again. I promise, I will have delights to share soon. Thanks for the sweet emails and comments during the past month. Hope you all are well!

Love, love,
Mae Jane

CHORES & BORES

       Bills, laundry, dishes, junk mail even, it never ends, continuous cycles we must commit ourselves to over and over again. All the while trying to find ways to be ourselves and shine through the mundane redundancy of daily life. Routines and familiar ways start to become jaded, tainted with the tedious aroma of "here we go again." Sometimes I just don't want to force myself to deal with these things, the boring intricacies of life, but if I don't, who else will? This is what comes with growing up. This is adulthood. (insert dundundun here).

      Lessons learned become the way of direction around here. We deal with these things because we have to. They are our right of passage to our freedom. Though I believe true freedom would entail no attachment to material items and the bills we have to pay to keep them. Freedom from relying on others, our parents? Yes. We become our own through these annoying little responsibilities. Good enough for me. I'll take independence over dependency any day.

        ;Mae Jane

OVERLOAD

It's a strange week so far. Much on my mind. Much to figure out. Much to organize. Much to attempt. Much to complete. Much to start. Much. Much. Much. I have and will have more new artsy things to share and some journal work soon. My mind has been clouded lately with life struggles. I'm trying to land just the right job that will offer a set stable schedule that I can work around going back to school. Kind of feeling stuck, job hunting is the sucky and most discouraging when all i would like to do is receive a nice weekly paycheck so I can go to school and pay my bills. Patience is seeming overrated these days as well. Hanging in there, hanging on.

Mae Jane

EDIT: Holy goodness. I just got a call back from the job that I had been hoping and wishing to get since last month. I have an interview Friday, and to think, I was practically giving up on that company. An interview with them usually means hire, so this is a great big joyous step in the right direction (plus I've got a referral to work there too). Funny thing is, for the past few weeks or so, I've been feeling really down and discouraged about my job hunt, feeling like I'd have to resort to a job I'd hate, like another one in retail or the food industry. I can't believe they finally called me. I squealed with so much joy that I scared Littlebones and she ran under the bed. Eeep! :)

 

WEEKEND RECAP

It was a good weekend, went by fast though.

+ friends on friday
+ denny's run at 2 am
+ doubles tennis match
+ planning the first camping trip
+ early quiet mornings
+ fruit baked to sweetness
+ backyard adventures
+ super duper weather
+ making the best steak sandwich around
+ pizza and cheese sticks!
+ i love food

- missing plans to go into the city at night because
    i fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.
- leg muscles aching from intense tennis volleying
- falling behind on emails and chores

    Much to do, much to do, and much to share. Creative work has slowly been taking over my life when it can. I have some new pieces to share soon once I get around to scanning.

Hope everyone else had a sunny and happy weekend!

    Much Love,
        Mae Jane

P.S. All daily photos will be listed in the top right sidebar in corresponding sets on Flickr, I may or may not post all of them here on a daily basis, I don't want to overload the interweb with fur! Though, the sets will always be updated. :)

 

MEMORY LANE AND MARGARITAS

    Where have I been since Tuesday? Man oh man. Wednesday was a blast. I met up with my cheesecake Nikki (I love calling her that) and we went out for breakfast at our local Modern Diner (which was recently featured on the Travel Channel, how about that, click the link to read more, it's the first one listed in RI). We both grew up eating there on the weekends as little ones. It was yum. It's better to go during the week rather than weekends, as the wait can be over an hour long, and this place is literally a few streets away from where I grew up as a kid.

photos via image415.com

    In the afternoon it was wedding planning stuff. We gathered up the mama and maid of honor and went to pick out some bridesmaid dresses. I love the fact that she wants us in bright fun colors. That turned out to be a success but the highlight of our day was going to the park, laying on the blanket, sipping pomegranate margaritas and eating margarita pizza. My kind of fun in the park, especially on the sunny beautiful day that it was. I plan on going back there soon to take better photos, there's a really pretty lake at the park as well. This park was my childhood. I have pictures of myself there at two years old and every age from then to now, and I still love this place. There's so much more to it, which is why I should take an array of photos of the place. There's a carousel, tennis courts, grill and picnic areas, huge playground, a little farm area with animals (they used to have a petting zoo with goats and even an elephant named Fanny), an awesome food place, bike trails, and so much more.

Silly faces for a strong mixed "koolaid" and I swear there's only ice in that cooler.

    Other than that I've been sneaking outside when I can to soak up the sun, and working on some projects. It's been a good week, and a fast one. I'm glad it's Friday though, it'll be nice to see some goofy faces tonight.

    Much Love,
        Mae Jane

RISE MY WEARY ONES

    New England is confused. So badly my local earth is craving for sunshine and warmth but all we keep getting is a foggy gray sky and damp grounds. April showers, you don't tease do you? I'm itching for sunshine like you wouldn't believe. I want to run around outside playing tennis and whiffle ball, camping and eating at cookouts. There's so much more to do during nice weather that is free. Sometimes we forget that the outdoors are like our adult playgrounds and jungle gyms. Why don't we go play more often? Who don't I? Oh there's this to do, and that to catch up on, and responsibility on top of obligation on top of expectations and duties and oh just simply growing up. What I do love though, about foggy gray days, is that even the birds won't cease to play. They still sing and converse among themselves, swooping in and out of trees as they chase each other's tail feathers.

    As you can see, I had a bit off fun with that cardstock I found yesterday. New artsy pieces!

We Dream Too Mixed Media Collage on Vintage Paper


Rise Mixed Media Collage on Vintage Paper



Somewhere Over The Mixed Media Collage on Vintage Paper

    All three of these new collage pieces are in the shop available as quality art prints. I'm falling back into my groove, yes I am. Since the weather is so icktastic I'd love to stay all curled up on the couch with my drawing pad and journal but I have homey chores to tend to as well as two doctor appointments (not a fan of the latter).  Laundry doesn't bother me so much, I just don't feel like doing it. :) I will, I will.

   

Much Love,
        Mae Jane

WEEKLY RESOLUTIONS

April 7th - 13th, 2008

    Oh, don't we love being focused and organized? I know I do, but even with to-do lists I still manage to fall behind. And I only see myself growing busier and busier as the days and months wear on. I have to admit though, I like staying productive and active, keeping the energy levels up. Makes me appreciate my downtime that much more.

    Last week I was mostly successful with my weekly resolutions. I managed to finish up the rough draft of the poster design I had been working on as well as doing all that résumé and career orientated gunk. However, despite those two little accomplishments, I didn't manage to read any of the books I had wanted to read. Not even a page and yet I only asked myself to read a chapter from each. Oh well. I tend to put things like that off, knowing that it'll always be there and there's no deadline for such tasks. Still, I want to start making time for general reading and mindwandering. This week I'm trying to keep it simple. There are a few methodsofmadness ways I want to add to my daily life. Such things will benefit me in so many ways, and if I can only stick to them for a full week, I may actually notice some results. So a give it a try, I must!

DAILY YOGA

  I find my body often feeling tight, stressed, and basically aching at the end of the day. It doesn't help that I forget about the rules of posture and often slouch from working on the computer or working on art, with drawing, painting, collaging--either way I'm always in an odd position, that to me feels comfortable at the time, yet later on destroys my back. I've been practicing a lot of yoga poses and bends lately, and they exude wonderful relief for me. I just have this problem of inconsistency. I figure that if I implement small yoga sessions throughout the day (everyday) I'll feel much better. (I also need to be aware of my posture more often). With this new understanding of myself, I aim to practice small yoga sessions of three throughout each day. They are generally only 20 minutes at a time, just to realign myself. I'd like to do one in the morning after waking, one in the late afternoon before I settle in @ home after working for the day, and one more before retiring to bed so that I can fall asleep feeling no tightness or kinks at all. This one shouldn't be too hard for me to stick to, because I genuinely love yoga and how it makes me feel.

DAILY DREAM INTERPRETATION
    
    I've always believed that our dreams speak to us, as our subconscious reigns supreme in our minds while we sleep and let our brains rest from forced thinking, problem solving, and anxiety ridden tendencies. I always wake up in the morning with a general left over emotion from any of the dreams I've had during my sleep. Often I remember fuzzy vague symbols and ideas from these dreams, but never being able to truly understand them, and often ignoring it all as a mishmash of mumbled thoughts. Lately though, I've decided that it's important to understand my dreams, what they are saying to me and replaying in my mind. There's a whole process that goes along with trying to train your mind to remember your dreams, to interpreting them, to even attempting to control them as they happen. This is something I plan on thinking about all week long. I'll be making another post about this topic and how I plan on achieving this. Every morning I plan on recording my dreams in my sleepy slowly rising from slumber state as they appeared to me, with the intent to interpret them and find meaning and direction from them. Perhaps I'll find some inner guidance from this experience.

  AN HOUR OR TWO FOR MYSELF

    This is important. It may sound silly, because truthfully, I always have time for myself. But I'm always rushing to complete something, or trying to force myself to create something magnificent or catch up on this and that. This is why I hardly take the time to read the stories I want to read, or study the path to my own enlightenment, or even simply take the time to figure out what I'm truly thinking deep inside, without life throwing itself at me. Everyone needs moments in the day where  they can just be, without doing, thinking, or fearing. Just be. It is my goal to take one to two hours daily for myself to do whatever it is I want to do, not what I feel I need to do or must do. Do I want to go to the park for a walk? Do I want to read my favorite poet? Do I want to practice meditation? Do I want to pig out on something awful and read a favorite magazine? Anything. It's all about living in that moment and seeking out what will give me joy, no chores, no to-do lists.

    I look forward to attempting everything on this list of daily goals. I find it important to ground and center myself, or else when I put myself in my work or relationships, I won't fully be there.

- + <3

    I also love the concept from Carrie & Danielle that Gala brought to attention on her blog. Edit, Add, Appreciate. The idea is so simple, honest, and necessary. The goal is to pick a set of three items from our lives that we can, edit out, add to, and appreciate. First, the goal is to pick one thing we can (and want) to edit from our lives, something we've been meaning to do without, whether it's an object or feeling. Next, to pick one thing to add to our lives, again, it can be an object or a feeling, anything! And to lastly, pick one thing to be appreciative for in our lives. This can be done weekly, or on a basis of starting a new set once the previous one is completed, or in any fashion you simply want. This is brilliant to me because not only does it go hand in hand with my love for list making, but it helps you gain some more control with what's going on in your life and reminds you to find the beauty and gratitude for these things/ elements/ feelings/ experiences/ etc!  I love it. Of course this is something I'll be participating in. Sometimes I'll share my sets, sometimes I won't because privacy is a commodity we often lack these days with the way the world works now with reality television and the internet. It's nice to know that not everything I put in my journals will end up here, though most of it does. Speaking of, I'm making time for some genuine journaling work this week.

Hope everyone has a superb week!
    Much Love,
        Mae Jane

HOORAY FOR LISTS

    Yes, yes, I'm one of those list-making people. I really can't help it, I just need to write everything down, or else I feel overwhelmed and unfocused. It works for me. That is why I love the idea of 101 in 1001, started by Day Zero. I updated my list and created a page for it here on DOC.U that I plan on editing as I'm working on new tasks, etc. I'll post updates here for when I start something and especially when I complete something and create a link to the corresponding posts within the list. It's a pretty well rounded list, I have a lot of interests and things I want to learn and try, not to mention, finally accomplish. I feel positive about the 101 tasks I've laid before me. Take a gander my friends:

clickie


   

    I've also added a thumbnail link on the right side bar for easy access.

Much Love & Lists,  
       Mae Jane

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

    My first attempt at creamy onion soup. And it was a success! It came out so creamy and thick and yummy. I'm quite proud of myself. I'm not sure where I got these cooking skills from though. My mother was never one to cook and my father always made rather simple dishes being a single father, working full time and raising me. But once I had to start cooking for myself, a world of possibilities opened up. I understand cooking and actually enjoy the process, even the prep, and especially the eating aspect. I can even bake too! Sometimes I daydream about going away to school to learn superb culinary skills. I think, how fantastic it would be to open up my own little restaurant, a cafe with, out of this world lunch and breakfast creations, re-invented home style dinner favorites and the yummiest pastries and desserts around. Alas my belly and the bellies of my loved ones will do for now though. Besides, I want to study too many darn things in this life. I want about five degrees and a Ph.D. Wouldn't that be nice haha.

    Yum & Love,
            Mae Jane   

BANANA TIME

    Totally digging the bananas in the cereal thing. Would you believe that I've never had bananas in my cereal before today? It was A+ dude. Seriously so yum especially with Raisin Nut Bran. See my joy.

I've gotta work on the uploading process a bit. I don't know why my videos keep turning out choppy and gray in the beginning haha.

;Mj

On the road to recovery!

    Oh friends, finally I have the strength and will to submerge myself into my creating and blogging again! Hello hello, I'm alive :) I ended up doing the strangest things last week. Which was watch an insane amount of television and nap during the day. I hardly ever do either of those things. Now I feel like I have to ween myself off of television. But when one has a fever for four days straight and is vomiting for five days straight, lay in bed all day they must! At least I was able to be a serious nerd and watch copious amounts of Battlestar Galactica, The Twilight Zone, and Family Guy. Though I'm mostly happy because I can finally eat normally again and move around without horrible aches. I am left with lingering congestion in my chest and head. I've got achy ears, sinuses and coughing to keep me company for the rest of this week. The flu has seriously been out of control this year. This is the third time I've had it just this winter alone. Never mind the bronchitis I also had a few months ago. I'm glad it's about done though. I hope everyone else if fairing a lot better than I have been!

    I'm glad there was a positive response to having more journal recipes and adding vlogs to Doc.u.menting. It makes me happy to know that you guys are excited about the projects on this site. I'll be devoting some time to perfecting the vlog aspect and crafting up some new journal recipes to share. I've been spending the better part of the past two days playing catch up around here. The apartment was a mess, my inbox out of control, projects falling behind...you get the idea. I'm pretty much close to being on track again though.

    Speaking of getting on track, it's time I devote myself to some journal work.

    ;MJ

Hello World

    Wow. It's been forever since I've posted. Or since I've even picked up a drawing pad or journal! You see, I was unfortunate enough to come down with the flu again. It grabbed hold of me on Saturday (the 15th) and has been kicking my butt since then. I'm hoping the beastly bug goes away by tomorrow. I don't know how much more I can take of fevers and all that other icky flu stuff. I get sick waaaay to often. Silly immune system.

    I've felt so guilty neglecting my shops, blogs, and work. But I've been nothing but a zombie for the past six days. Though today is the first day I've been able to sit at the computer for longer than thirty seconds without feeling dizzy. So a small post is all I have for now, but I am going to spend the rest of the day brainstorming new journal recipes, concepts, posts, and other ways to make Doc.u.menting even better. Perhaps I should even make up some future posts to use when I am unable to be productive like I have been this week. I'm thrilled some of you are excited about the vlogs, I am too, and once I can get the uploading process to run smoothly for me, I shall be posting a couple a week. Maybe I can make a sicky one today haha.

    I hope everyone is well and that no one else has come down with this bug either. It seems to be going around like mad around my parts. I feel like I've been in another dimension for a week. A dimension of sleep, coughing, tissues, TiVo, and ick. I can't wait to be back to my old self. Hopefully I'll have some good content to post this weekend!

Much Love,
Mae Jane.

Moleskine Planner

    Last night we danced the night away as it was abruptly ended while we were preparing for more moves. Sadness took over but we can shake our booties tomorrow night too. The hookah bar was interesting. I really enjoyed the atmosphere, cushy couches with little coffee tables, wonderful middle eastern food, an array of flavored tobaccos (we chose mixed fruit, apple, and chocolate mint). It was relaxing and magical at the same time. Then we headed over to another place to consume as many drinks within an hour as we could and shake shake shake our bodies on the dance floor. I hate when the night ends too soon. Tomorrow night though, it's round two of birthday celebrations.

    I slept too late today. But I needed it. I didn't fall asleep till nearly four a.m. However, I have much to work on, paintings and drawings, entries and collages, and even dreaded chores. I love that my mister nub is home to help me some though. I've decided to also commit myself to documenting more of my journey here in actual posts rather than sporadic journal entries. I want to have a consistent documentation of my twenty-fourth year.  My daily planner has begun to turn into a journal with collage and sometimes even little doodles. I'm going with it. I consider this planner to be the rough draft to the final artbook version I'm working on. It is vital for the impromptu documenting of inspiration for artwork and creations.  Right now though, right now it is time for glue, wood, paint and paper.

;MJ

      

Turning, Turning

This week, ohhh this week.



This week I've vowed to change a lot.
Promised to improve upon this and that.
I'm going to be 24. 24. 24. 24. 24.
Ah! I know, I know, it's young! But.
I have one year left before I turn 25.
Before I'm supposed to accomplish
certain dreams and goals.
What to do when there is so
little time these days?

I need to make dreams
become realities.

Turning 24 honestly feels a bit surreal.
Somehow I feel I'll always be a little girl
trapped in a big girl world.

I'm excited to go to NY this weekend.
I'm even more excited to come back
and get to work on all the projects I just
had to conjure up in my little brain.

Tonight I'm off to celebrate with my bff.
We just so happened to be born four
days apart the same year. Go figure.
Hookah bar and drinks time with friends.
Goodnight!
;MJ

PONDERING 2008

I am so inspired right now.

1. I've found my ultimate true resolution for 2008.
2. I've figured the mysteries of myself out.
3. I'm going with it.
4. The voice of Sara Bareilles transforms me.
5. Books by women who gave up everything to find themselves are my muses and heroes.
6. The possibilities of creating are endless.

    I'm a wide-eyed, hopeful, dirty procrastinator. I'm sensitive and bitter, eager and anxious and most definitely contradictory. I'm becoming more and more aware as each day passes and reaching for my ambitions without doubt for the first time since I was probably four years old. This time, I'm truly seeking growth and change, to shed my old skin and emerge as a transformed Mae. I'm happy with who I have been, but I'm ready to become more. I'll be turning another year older next month and I feel that it's time for me to take all those dreams, plans, and to-do lists and put them into action. To finally believe it, see it, and know it all to be more than true, more than my reality. Life is cruel, but life is beautiful and powerful. It's not meant to be easy or simple. It's an abstract chaotic test of yourself and potential. It's up to us to make our lives be what we desire. We can't wait for things to happen anymore. (note to self note to self). Life and even our smallest accomplishments need to be celebrated daily. We need to appreciate, respect, love, and rejoice for the chance to comprehend, feel, and create. These are gifts that too many of us continue to overlook. I don't want to be that blind individual anymore. I can talk a lot of talk but when it comes time to solidifying something, I become terrified of the quest ending. It's the journey I enjoy most, so when the destination arises, I shy back. I need to stop putting dreams on hold for fears. It was time years ago, but it's never too late now. But truly, it's now or never.

        Dear 2008:
            I resolute to be myself, fully and truly uninhibited, flawed,
        strong, and even lost. To not be what is assumed and expected
        of me but to finally become the ME that's within, no masks, just raw.
        Whether it is good enough or not. To think thoughts that will only
        lift me up closer to my desires and to avoid ones (including people)
        that weigh me down or hold me back. To question every single thing
        that crosses my path, mind, and heart. To dissect it, tear it apart
        and to build it back up again, but stronger, in order to be able to
        understand it, and ultimately appreciate it and absorb its rewards.
        To accept and embrace opportunities as well as challenges and to
        never, ever, shy away from what's truly bursting from within myself.

         Resolution 2008: To live a creative and celebratory life.
                        -->   For me, this sums up everything I'm seeking in 2008.
                                That one simple sentence will remind me to continue
                                to create and believe in myself and to be aware and
                                live a joyous and thankful life (no fear or doubt allowed).


    I've learned much throughout 2007. I've discovered even more about myself. For 2008 I want to reinvent what it is I've uncovered within and around me, and make it better, to define it so that it's more than real, it's concrete. Change offers growth, which offers the greatest gift of all: wisdom. I'm scared to cross another year off, but I'm anticipating what the upcoming days have in store. Embracing the inner nerd and possibly OCD ridden person that I am, I have created a list of 8 specific things that I will accomplish this year, no if's, and's, or, but's. However, I will add one extra; 8 for the year (2008) and 1 more for good luck.

        1] Consume & spend wisely
        2] Improve health with yoga & smarter eating habits
        3] Complete tattoo work
        4] Communicate powerfully
        5] Relish in compassion & patience
        6] Take the actual steps to advance career & dreams
        7] Read 1 new inspiring book a month
        8] Throw 1 themed party a month- to keep friends close,
              and have an excuse to celebrate.
       +
        *9] Make love & time for art, creating, & writing weekly.
       
                *note: devote love & time to the things that make you
                              feel the most complete & happy. No question!

               
    It's as simple as that. Focusing my energy and thoughts on these goals and ways to live will make it all that much more attainable and real. This would perhaps make a good journal recipe, hmm? I'll get on it. :)

;MJ

Strange Stumblings

"The train purrs and I'm awake at 3 a.m. feeling ill and icky.
House is noisy as it breathes in the December winter chill.
Bodies rise and chests wheeze, bitten by the bug.
Insomniacs unite during this time by clever means of
internet connections and the homeshopping network.
Feeling like a child, trying not to get caught,
trying not to disturb."



"Another year just about to be crossed off---done.
What can I say about 2007? I've definitely lived
in the moment, and certainly have slowed down
and changed perspectives. My relationships are
becoming stronger but in that grown up kind of
way. I've grown as an artist, stumbling onto my
niche. Defining myself as a person has been the
adventure of choice while discovering the earth
within and all around me. I've learned it's about
the simple and understated elements in life. I've
learned that it's about right now and everyone
I've met and yet to meet."

;MJ

P.S. Happy Holidays! Sorry for the lack in posts and inspiration.
The holiday season has kept me beyond busy but as things
are slowly settling down I am finding more time for new
creations, and I promise that with the start of the new year
it will bring new articles and inspirations and journal recipes.
I'm working on it, always have been and always will :D
Muah XXO!

RAIN DROPS

    Trying to get back on track is quite the commitment. I'm finding myself wanting to be young and wild, just sipping and laughing the night away with friends. I find another side of myself trying to break through, trying to control, organize, plan, create, accomplish, and pile on more. It's a contradictory process of growing. Some things are changing in my life and right now my priorities are a bit arranged. However, art is still in my top three. My education at the local college has been put on hold again, as I feel stifled and squashed and completely misunderstood by that school. You know, the one that was never one of your choices, but you went to anyway because it was convenient, close, and cheaper? It's scary when you realize you may have been doing everything opposite to your true real wants, that reside so deep inside of you that it's no wonder you would constantly overlook them (for others). Right now in my life I need to be concentrating on working, saving money that is, becoming financially secure as an independent woman. Independence is the key word here. I need to learn to understand my true nature and cultivate that path of success and dreams I continuously drool over. And I shall. It just may take me a while.
    This year went by incredibly fast, I can't believe Halloween is already gone. People have already bought Christmas presents and planning New Year's resolutions. Me? I'm just trying to make sense of it all before I become another victim of society.

;mj

BACK & BETTER THAN EVER! (mostly)

      Phew, it's about time! I cannot believe that for more than two weeks I was unable to find the strength and even desire to create, write, and work on my websites. These things make me oh so happy, but when you're as sick as I was (influenza + bronchitis) it takes quite awhile to get back into the swing of things. I'd say I'm about 80% better now. All I have left is the junk congestion from bronchitis and the occasional fatigue and fever. But finally, I have enough strength to get out of bed and back to work and school and a social life and my passions: creating! I do have to admit that I am a bit behind though. Remember how I talked about my super plans for a huge theme of reinvention? Well I haven't forgotten about it and in fact I still have more I want to do for the first part of the theme: artistic direction! So I have decided to forgive my absences and just continue on with the theme.  I can't decide if I will make it last till Weds or just carry it on and start the next one on the following Monday. We shall see. I hate to put limits on myself and tend to just let my work dictate my directions. I do have much to share with you though. Even some daily discovery which I plan on getting back into the habit of.
       I plan on devoting much of my time this week to my projects and work as my "day job" didn't give me many hours and I have no class this week. Getting sick like that was completely inconvenient and the absolute worst timing for me. I had to miss three days out of my job, and since they are a retail job from hell, they required that I have a doctor's note in order to avoid being "written up." So, since I ended up so sick, I had to resort to the doctors (I have no health insurance, so it was cheaper to call out of work than it was to actually be seen emergency by my doc) and I go back to work and give them my note, still sick mind you. Well, I guess a note wasn't good enough because I still got a "verbal warning" and am now on three months probation, meaning I cannot call out once in the next three months unless I have a doctor's note. That's just fantastic as winter is nearing it's approach. Oh and if I dare get in a car accident? Eeesh. I hate that place. There, I'm not afraid to say it! For those of you who don't know, I work at Old Navy hell. I do the shipment and merchandising and go in at 7 or 6 am during the week. I really hate big companies like them, but I need a dependable paycheck, ya know? I don't mind the job most of the time because I hardly deal with customers and they are flexible with school. But seriously, this probation thing is crap I say.
       And to top it off, I had to miss my poetry class a couple of times and my professor advised me to drop the course as it would be impossible for me to pass now because apparently they have a new absence limit on the major and she wouldn't accept my doctor's note, or meet up with me another day to catch up, or even give me an extra paper to write to get caught up. I felt like I was at such a loss! I didn't choose to get sick. I had to miss work and school, I mean, I was coughing up blood! Oh tis life, right? Not only all that, but it cost me 100 dollars to see the doctor and 50 dollars for generic antibiotics! Though, I've decided to not let it bother me and just go with the flow, maybe it's some sign that I need to step back and dissect my current job and education choice. More on that later. For now, I want to dive head first into some art, journaling, and daily discovering since it is SO beautiful outside. Be back soon!

XXO;
Mae Jane

P.S. Thank you to those who sent me well wishes during the past few weeks. I apologize for not responding to messages/comments in a timely fashion. :D Oh and what a way to start an October morning, Young Frankenstein is on t.v.! I also watched Spaceballs yesterday, gotta love that one! I <3 Mel Brooks!

POSSESSED

"An artist is a creature driven by demons.
He doesn't know why they choose him
and he's usually too busy to wonder why."
-William Faulkner

 

I want to apologize for the lack of updates and journal work lately.
I've been consumed by so much, so many responsibilities, goals,
emotions, burdens, desires, fears, engagements, and social
activities. With this week finally starting as the first full week
of the semester, I'm starting to feel the weight. I already have
so much reading and writing to do, and that doesn't bother me,
really, but in order for me to stay on track this semester, I need
to start off on the right foot.

I'm going to take a mini break for a few days every now
and then to devote to my courses, and not to mention I also work a
regular day job as well, (which was part time and is now going
up in hours, which is also a good thing). So the truth is, I'm going to
be a little frazzled with trying to balance everything in a new way now.
I had a certain schedule before, more free time, so I had my own
method to the madness of how and when I worked on my projects,
but now I need to reorganize myself, and rework my days so
that I can manage to accomplish everything it is that I want to do
that day. I have a lot of goals, too many, and usually, a
handful going on at once, and I love that, but I need to
avoid the crash and burn. Especially now.

I will try to update as often as I can, whether it be daily,
or every few days, I will say or post something until I can
at least manage to create some order to the chaos.
I have lots of little inspirations I am already collecting
from my courses that I'm eager to share too.

I will also be needing to devote some of my time towards
my artwork again. I feel myself growing and heading
in a new direction, taking what I know and fall back on
and combining it with new ideas and depths.

I'm trying to end up on the path of complete
acceptance, with an embrace for life, and every
moment as free and magical as possible.

I am done worrying about the past.
I am done worrying about the future.
I am in the here and now and that is
where my attention should be.

So, please pardon my moments of disappearing.
I can promise though, that with these little breaks
I will be spending more time in my journals and
discovering new wonders to share with you all.

I can only grow as these days pass.

XXO: Mae Jane

EMBRACING THIS LIFE

Dusty Days

"Accept everything that arises. Accept your feelings, even the ones
you wish you did not have. Accept your experiences, even the ones
you hate. Don't condemn yourself for having human flaws and failings.
Learn to see all the phenomena in the mind as being perfectly natural
and understandable. Try to exercise a disinterested acceptance at all
times with respect to everything you experience."

-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

It is what it is.
This has been on my mind lately.

When I find myself over analyzing things or worrying or
wasting any time on something not worth it, I hear those
words in my head. It is what it is. And it is.
So why fight or force any of it?

I've been inspired by a slew of elements lately that have
sort of, reawakened my soul and quest for life.
I want to start living now, instead of agonizing over the future,
or worse, the past. It's time to embrace my environment
and true nature, not cover it up with what I think I'm supposed
to be doing or how I think I'm supposed to be feeling.
It's time to just let it be.

It is what it is.

Mae Jane

I'm going to reflect on this a bit more...

MESSY MUCH?

Forever & always, a messy girl.

No matter how much I try to stay on top of
such annoying tasks as putting laundry away
and keeping a neat room, it will just never happen.

It's not in me to be perfectly tidy all the time.
Pretty much, at the end of every week, this is
what our room looks like. Clothes everywhere.

Oh well. Add that to the Quarter Life Crisis:
I'm 23 and STILL can't keep my bedroom clean.

I think I know what I'm doing tomorrow morning....

Mae Jane

AWESOME AUTUMN!

When spring was in bloom and summer was inches away earlier this year, I once made a list of warm weather must do's. Sadly, I didn't get to do a lot of things on that wonderful list.

The weather was extremely humid during most of the summer and it practically rained every weekend. I also took three different summer courses at my local college, as well as picked up more hours at work. Needless to say, I was busy. Too busy. But that's okay. You see, Autumn is my favorite season of the year. It's during Autumn that I want to be outside, run through leaves, and pick out pumpkins. I think almost everyone is itching for Fall, so I've decided to run with my list making tendencies and create a list of Autumn Must Do's for myself!



I'm sure I will be adding more to the list once new ideas come to me.
For now though, these are some definite things I must, must do.
I'm not slacking this season, it's time to fully enjoy life!

And truthfully, there's still plenty of warm, sunshiny weather ahead.
Perhaps I can cross off a few more things from my Summer List. :)

What are your Fall Must-Do's?

XXO: Mae Jane

SURROUNDING ENVIRONMENTS

Utopia:
noun- an imagined place or state of things in where everything is perfect.

Fact: Perfect does NOT exist.

When I saw this picture in one of my interior design magazines
I was transfixed. I wanted that moment. That moment of freedom
to lounge in the most amazingly designed and comfortable looking
couch on the planet! Surrounded by walls that are glass which
showcase an array of trees and land. There is something so moving
about an environment like this. There is something so compelling
about the design of the furniture. It calls for relaxation,
meditation, and appreciation of everything that is.
I immediately pasted this image into my journal:



When I think about living in a home like that, surrounded by
such beauty, inside and outside, I get a sense of what it is
I want my environment to be like, aesthetically, and
mentally; a state of mind and a way to live.

Creating the perfect home would be impossible, even
with amazing furniture like that. It's about choosing to
make your home, truly a home. Home is what we
resonate with and find our selves familiarly drawn to.
Home is where we truly feel ourselves and motivated,
inspired, and compelled to just BE and LIVE.

This is my ideal home:

  I want a free life. Where there is beauty in everything. Surrounded by the natural, antique, modern, vintage, and retro. I can wake up each morning with a freshness found only in my lungs; There exists no stress, no worry, and no fear. There is only love, appreciation, serenity and a warm humor. A bond that exists between everything, so poetic and Zen.  Adventure, and a spontaneous excitement resides in every corner, offering new and shiny ideas and wonderments; There is an herbal cleanliness  to everything, being as Green conscientious as possible, There is peace. A pure truth. It is tranquil and cozy. Art and literature fill the crevices, technology and design reign supreme amongst the natural organic objects; Success and accomplishments aren’t hard to find here, for only passion and determination win in the end; Everything is wholesome, There is no hectic rush, no emptiness, life is bursting everywhere.  It is a place where I will feel my best every day, mind, body, and soul. I will feel my strongest and challenged, inspired, and motivated. I will be found within myself, within my environment, within all that surrounds me. LIFE will be lived here.

One day I swear I will own these couches, as many as I can!
They are speaking to me, BUY ME, LOVE ME, SLEEP ON ME!

Create your own Utopia,
and tweak the rules.
Live the Life you want to,
how you want to.

After all, home is what we make of it.
What's your ideal home?

XXO: Mae Jane