DOC-U-MENTING

Crabby, yet not crabby.

I've been a busy one again.
Working, camping, going to the beach,
working, sleeping, eating awesome food, etc.
The summertime drill is all.
The three of us ended up swimming around
in that lake with our clothes on. It was a grand time.
We forgot our bathing suits, ya know, so we went with it.

Now that I've had some free time, I've been making some progress.
New little drawings are in the midsts,
soon to be mishmashed into little vintage paper collages.
I've had some random critters on the brain as you can see.

Oh yah, and cheesecake, of course.

I'm trying to change my approach to blogging these days.
I used to feel bad for not updating as often as I should, or even could.
But now, I'm starting to not feel so bad. Less and less. It's my life, after all.
I always wanted to keep superb consistency with this site, for the sake
of those of you who are so awesome and support me along the way. 
Yet the truth is, life is busy. Damn busy.
And life isn't about sitting in front of a computer.
No matter how pretty your iMac is.
In short, I'm taking the blogging without obligation approach from now on.

It's not that I want to share less with you, or I'm giving up on the site,
it's just that life is moving, altering, a transitioning phase taking hold really.
I want to savor my days and share the truth with you as it unfolds,
not as I try to force it into measly blog posts just for the sake of updating.
I guess I'm not one of those people cut out for daily blogging. I tried though. :)

Yet, I have too much going on and too much to experience for that, I think we all do.
I do hope to share progress of work during the week,
and updates of a documented life when I can though.
And of course there will always be new artwork and adventures to share.

Reality is, this blog, this project of documenting has always been a personal one,
shared here to inspire others and well, document for my own reasons.
My life is taking on a whole new aura and I'm sensing myself slowing down a bit.
And I'd rather not feel guilty about that. :) It's time to enjoy our days.

I'm ready. Aren't you?

-Mae Jane-

CHORES & BORES

       Bills, laundry, dishes, junk mail even, it never ends, continuous cycles we must commit ourselves to over and over again. All the while trying to find ways to be ourselves and shine through the mundane redundancy of daily life. Routines and familiar ways start to become jaded, tainted with the tedious aroma of "here we go again." Sometimes I just don't want to force myself to deal with these things, the boring intricacies of life, but if I don't, who else will? This is what comes with growing up. This is adulthood. (insert dundundun here).

      Lessons learned become the way of direction around here. We deal with these things because we have to. They are our right of passage to our freedom. Though I believe true freedom would entail no attachment to material items and the bills we have to pay to keep them. Freedom from relying on others, our parents? Yes. We become our own through these annoying little responsibilities. Good enough for me. I'll take independence over dependency any day.

        ;Mae Jane

Official Letter

Dear Doc.u.menting,

    I truly do love you. I apologize for the lack of posts and documentation. I've been rather consumed and distracted, a wee bit discouraged too. I'm growing. So much is going on, so much is changing, so much yet to come. A journey unlike any other I've experienced is slowly erupting. I'm ready to document my twenty-fourth year in a more in depth way than I have before. I want to share more journal entries, life lessons, my muses, my fears, my hopes, my perceptions. I want to observe everything, soak it up, remember it, and cherish it here with you. That's why I commit to truly share my documentation with all of you on a regular basis. I'm going to take more photos, write more words, collage more memories, and even start to add refreshingly honest video blog posts (vlogs!). I wonder if I should do more journal recipes in relation to the concepts and themes I'm exploring. What do you guys think? Is there anything you want more of? Less of? Something entirely different? What would you include in your documentation?

    On that note, I'm off to clean the apartment as friends are coming over to unwind. Drinks, familiar faces, and laughter are my favorite way to spend a Friday night. I'll document. :)

Love,
Mae Jane

FOREVR GROWING

Ever have one of those moments where suddenly you understand
more than you thought you would and everything starts to make sense?
Or at least not look so scary anymore? 

Realizations, acceptance, embracing, coming to terms, etc.
It's all part of growing (up).

Transition from one phase of life to the next is a scary and beautiful process.
It can be quite intimidating and daunting but nonetheless oozing with
possibilities to be uncovered. I often find myself wondering though, if
I'm at the right point in my life, or what that even means.

All I know is that I feel more alive than I have in a long time,
and all I want to do is strengthen myself in every possible way.
I'm at a place in my life where I can just about go in any direction.
I kind of like that.





;Mj

TANGIBLE

    I've started working on a new journal. This one focuses more on aesthetics and emotion, and the concept of growing. It's not quite like my other journals with the Moleskines, where I do a lot of paper collage and writing. There's still some writing, and will be more in the future in this new one, but it's along different lines. This journal will capture tangible art, that which can be felt and holds memories using found and natural objects from my life. I dedicate an abstract idea or emotion to each page I work on. It may not be clear but that's sometimes the point. Here are the first six, below, I've created so far. I'm not going to give explanations of them because what they mean to me is ultimately different than what they will mean to you and I hope these works are viewed as a scene unfolding a story rather than a diary entry.

Coiling Fetus


Acceptance


Torn Favorite


Two To Twenty Four Lost More


Bad T.V. Bad Hair


Hidden Treasures

More to come later!
Mae Jane

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Things are truly what we make of them.
Our perception of our surroundings and
circumstances ultimately decide our fates
within them.

falling strands of coffee hair, a strand for each fear,
but "you can be anything you want to be," right?
life is magical when we choose to see it that way;
our lives comprised of our thoughts. you are
what you ponder. so ponder glorious truth,
beauty, and strength.

I think seasonal depression is trying to take hold of me.
I won't let it though. I've got cupcakes and tea and
sweet cozy kitties to cure that ick.

Reflecting on growing up, realizing I've only aged,
and hardly matured.

I've grown from this but not much. I'd still roller skate
in the snow if I had the chance. I still make
silly faces and dress like a goober, but instead of
being 8, I'm 24. Just a 24 year old kid and it's all good.

Love, Love
;Mj

P.S. The Love Raffle ends this Friday at 7pm! Be sure to
get your comment posted in time for a chance to win
the goodie basket featuring any art print of the winner's choosing!

Turning, Turning

This week, ohhh this week.



This week I've vowed to change a lot.
Promised to improve upon this and that.
I'm going to be 24. 24. 24. 24. 24.
Ah! I know, I know, it's young! But.
I have one year left before I turn 25.
Before I'm supposed to accomplish
certain dreams and goals.
What to do when there is so
little time these days?

I need to make dreams
become realities.

Turning 24 honestly feels a bit surreal.
Somehow I feel I'll always be a little girl
trapped in a big girl world.

I'm excited to go to NY this weekend.
I'm even more excited to come back
and get to work on all the projects I just
had to conjure up in my little brain.

Tonight I'm off to celebrate with my bff.
We just so happened to be born four
days apart the same year. Go figure.
Hookah bar and drinks time with friends.
Goodnight!
;MJ

PONDERING 2008

I am so inspired right now.

1. I've found my ultimate true resolution for 2008.
2. I've figured the mysteries of myself out.
3. I'm going with it.
4. The voice of Sara Bareilles transforms me.
5. Books by women who gave up everything to find themselves are my muses and heroes.
6. The possibilities of creating are endless.

    I'm a wide-eyed, hopeful, dirty procrastinator. I'm sensitive and bitter, eager and anxious and most definitely contradictory. I'm becoming more and more aware as each day passes and reaching for my ambitions without doubt for the first time since I was probably four years old. This time, I'm truly seeking growth and change, to shed my old skin and emerge as a transformed Mae. I'm happy with who I have been, but I'm ready to become more. I'll be turning another year older next month and I feel that it's time for me to take all those dreams, plans, and to-do lists and put them into action. To finally believe it, see it, and know it all to be more than true, more than my reality. Life is cruel, but life is beautiful and powerful. It's not meant to be easy or simple. It's an abstract chaotic test of yourself and potential. It's up to us to make our lives be what we desire. We can't wait for things to happen anymore. (note to self note to self). Life and even our smallest accomplishments need to be celebrated daily. We need to appreciate, respect, love, and rejoice for the chance to comprehend, feel, and create. These are gifts that too many of us continue to overlook. I don't want to be that blind individual anymore. I can talk a lot of talk but when it comes time to solidifying something, I become terrified of the quest ending. It's the journey I enjoy most, so when the destination arises, I shy back. I need to stop putting dreams on hold for fears. It was time years ago, but it's never too late now. But truly, it's now or never.

        Dear 2008:
            I resolute to be myself, fully and truly uninhibited, flawed,
        strong, and even lost. To not be what is assumed and expected
        of me but to finally become the ME that's within, no masks, just raw.
        Whether it is good enough or not. To think thoughts that will only
        lift me up closer to my desires and to avoid ones (including people)
        that weigh me down or hold me back. To question every single thing
        that crosses my path, mind, and heart. To dissect it, tear it apart
        and to build it back up again, but stronger, in order to be able to
        understand it, and ultimately appreciate it and absorb its rewards.
        To accept and embrace opportunities as well as challenges and to
        never, ever, shy away from what's truly bursting from within myself.

         Resolution 2008: To live a creative and celebratory life.
                        -->   For me, this sums up everything I'm seeking in 2008.
                                That one simple sentence will remind me to continue
                                to create and believe in myself and to be aware and
                                live a joyous and thankful life (no fear or doubt allowed).


    I've learned much throughout 2007. I've discovered even more about myself. For 2008 I want to reinvent what it is I've uncovered within and around me, and make it better, to define it so that it's more than real, it's concrete. Change offers growth, which offers the greatest gift of all: wisdom. I'm scared to cross another year off, but I'm anticipating what the upcoming days have in store. Embracing the inner nerd and possibly OCD ridden person that I am, I have created a list of 8 specific things that I will accomplish this year, no if's, and's, or, but's. However, I will add one extra; 8 for the year (2008) and 1 more for good luck.

        1] Consume & spend wisely
        2] Improve health with yoga & smarter eating habits
        3] Complete tattoo work
        4] Communicate powerfully
        5] Relish in compassion & patience
        6] Take the actual steps to advance career & dreams
        7] Read 1 new inspiring book a month
        8] Throw 1 themed party a month- to keep friends close,
              and have an excuse to celebrate.
       +
        *9] Make love & time for art, creating, & writing weekly.
       
                *note: devote love & time to the things that make you
                              feel the most complete & happy. No question!

               
    It's as simple as that. Focusing my energy and thoughts on these goals and ways to live will make it all that much more attainable and real. This would perhaps make a good journal recipe, hmm? I'll get on it. :)

;MJ

Open-ended

I heard somewhere that thoughts become things. So, if I choose to only
think sweet and positive ponderings then perhaps I won't feel the burden
and pain of things gone wrong. I should put my energy into the results
I want, not the fears that I'm afraid I can't escape.

Dare to love yourself,
open-ended.
That means, allowing yourself to have flaws,
to make mistakes and fumble and fall along the way,
to grow and evolve and transform from these moments.
You will always be transitioning and reinventing as you
(gracefully) age in this life. There is no way to formulate
one conclusion of yourself right now. It's impossible.

"You know, I am always growing emotionally and I'm very aware of
everything that I go through and that I experience personally. I'm
always learning something new about myself, whether it's a good or
bad thing, that I need to work on. A lot of things make me sad.
Sometimes it's almost easier to be sad. But you do end up
finding a balance and I think that as I get older I am
learning what I can do for myself to make me happy."
--M-K

;mj

WAKE

Wake and BE.

So, we don't look perfect when we wake up,
that's obvious and understandable.
But whoever said it wasn't good enough?

Learning to embrace all aspects of myself...
as all layers of myself transform and grow.
I'm falling back together, pieces and all.



"I think I'm always going through a transformation.
I think now that I'm older I'm more aware of the things
that make me feel more complete as a person. I'm
trying to concentrate on those things as opposed to things
that make me feel empty or not as complete, or that
don't represent who I am." -Mary-Kate

It's strange, the places you'll find muses,
in annoying trendy magazines and in frail frames
younger than your own.
;mj

P.S. Run with your inspirations.

RAIN DROPS

    Trying to get back on track is quite the commitment. I'm finding myself wanting to be young and wild, just sipping and laughing the night away with friends. I find another side of myself trying to break through, trying to control, organize, plan, create, accomplish, and pile on more. It's a contradictory process of growing. Some things are changing in my life and right now my priorities are a bit arranged. However, art is still in my top three. My education at the local college has been put on hold again, as I feel stifled and squashed and completely misunderstood by that school. You know, the one that was never one of your choices, but you went to anyway because it was convenient, close, and cheaper? It's scary when you realize you may have been doing everything opposite to your true real wants, that reside so deep inside of you that it's no wonder you would constantly overlook them (for others). Right now in my life I need to be concentrating on working, saving money that is, becoming financially secure as an independent woman. Independence is the key word here. I need to learn to understand my true nature and cultivate that path of success and dreams I continuously drool over. And I shall. It just may take me a while.
    This year went by incredibly fast, I can't believe Halloween is already gone. People have already bought Christmas presents and planning New Year's resolutions. Me? I'm just trying to make sense of it all before I become another victim of society.

;mj

THEME: ARTISTIC DIRECTION

So far I have been analyzing what elements, materials, and inspirations
make up my artwork. I've also been brainstorming new methods & materials to try.
I am aiming to find a way to combine all of my past creations, techniques and ideas
with new ones, finding a way to blend it all into something much more concrete,
something relative and geared towards a general direction.

I've always had an interesting time trying to explain what my artwork is, looks like,
and what it's about. Today I sat down and got to thinking, trying to sum it all up
in some pretty magical sort of way and that's when I came up with:

The Little Fawn:
A fusion of peculiar characters and enchanting little critters,
abstractly arranged on natural and vintage elements,
meshing together with modern emotion and personal growth.

What I've learned is that in order to become who it is and what you want,
you need to believe it. You need to think it, breathe it, and love it.
You create the world you live in, and to find any happiness, you have to
have a true passion for what it is your spending your time on.



Often I find myself forcing myself to create something, out of fear, of failing.
Out of fear of not creating enough to increase my skills, out of fear of not
exposing enough of my work to get recognized as an artist. Out of fear
of not living up to the expectations I have put on myself.
It is vitally essential, when it comes to creating, anything, to
create out of passion, not fear.

Today I am working on a few new pieces of art, in varying formats,
trying to find a way to cohesively bring all of my ideas and methods together.
It's through continuous practice that I will be able to uncover new depths within my skills.

Happy hump day!
I love Wednesdays.

xxo; Mae Jane

METAMORPHOSiS

I'm flirting with the concept of metamorphosis this week.
Especially since autumn is creeping in, changing one element to another.

metamorphosis:

1 a : change of physical form, structure, or substance especially by
supernatural means b : a striking alteration in appearance, character, or circumstances
2 : a typically marked and more or less abrupt developmental change
in the form or structure of an animal (as a butterfly or a frog) occurring
subsequent to birth or hatching.

I'm going to spend some time reflecting on this.

XXO: Mae Jane

POSSESSED

"An artist is a creature driven by demons.
He doesn't know why they choose him
and he's usually too busy to wonder why."
-William Faulkner

 

I want to apologize for the lack of updates and journal work lately.
I've been consumed by so much, so many responsibilities, goals,
emotions, burdens, desires, fears, engagements, and social
activities. With this week finally starting as the first full week
of the semester, I'm starting to feel the weight. I already have
so much reading and writing to do, and that doesn't bother me,
really, but in order for me to stay on track this semester, I need
to start off on the right foot.

I'm going to take a mini break for a few days every now
and then to devote to my courses, and not to mention I also work a
regular day job as well, (which was part time and is now going
up in hours, which is also a good thing). So the truth is, I'm going to
be a little frazzled with trying to balance everything in a new way now.
I had a certain schedule before, more free time, so I had my own
method to the madness of how and when I worked on my projects,
but now I need to reorganize myself, and rework my days so
that I can manage to accomplish everything it is that I want to do
that day. I have a lot of goals, too many, and usually, a
handful going on at once, and I love that, but I need to
avoid the crash and burn. Especially now.

I will try to update as often as I can, whether it be daily,
or every few days, I will say or post something until I can
at least manage to create some order to the chaos.
I have lots of little inspirations I am already collecting
from my courses that I'm eager to share too.

I will also be needing to devote some of my time towards
my artwork again. I feel myself growing and heading
in a new direction, taking what I know and fall back on
and combining it with new ideas and depths.

I'm trying to end up on the path of complete
acceptance, with an embrace for life, and every
moment as free and magical as possible.

I am done worrying about the past.
I am done worrying about the future.
I am in the here and now and that is
where my attention should be.

So, please pardon my moments of disappearing.
I can promise though, that with these little breaks
I will be spending more time in my journals and
discovering new wonders to share with you all.

I can only grow as these days pass.

XXO: Mae Jane

HELLO iS THAT YOU?

In the movie Lost In Translation (which I am obsessed with)
Bill Murray's character said something I will never forget:



"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."

It couldn't be anymore true either.
I think half the problem with this quarter-life crisis is that
I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and what it is I really want.

I'm constantly changing my mind and worrying
if I'm cheating myself or worse, fooling myself.

It's hard to know if we're ever on the right path.
It's easiest to stick with the familiar, but then we will never learn or grow.
It's scary trying to break free of the mold that I've subconsciously put myself in.

Note(s) To Self:

Accept everything with grace.
Embrace it all and appreciate it. Love it.
Dive deeper and let go of the restraints.
If you want it, go get it.
If you have responsibility, live up to it.
If you want to self-indulge, do it.
Don’t hold back but don’t push too hard.
Your heart sets the boundaries. Work with it.
Remember: You can't force what isn't there. So let it be.

(*it = can refer to just about everything).

XXO: Mae Jane

THE WORLD @ YOUR FINGERTIPS

Oh the WORLD! It's at your fingertips.

I often dream about where I hope to travel one day.
I really, really, really want to go to Europe.
I mean, who doesn't? I am obsessed with the
architecture and cultures. And that whole crazy
idea of backpacking through Europe with no
plans or security? That appeals to me.
That rich spontaneity and pure discovery, are
the very things I've been searching for my whole life.

One day, I hope to escape the east coast and cross
the seas to other lands, new sights and faces.

Until then (that time being when I have the funds
and time to devote to such an adventure)
I will have to re-discover my home town
and local curiosities. Often, I overlook
the very streets I drive down because I'm
so used to them. Though, I'm sure if I
just look, I could find something new each time.

Anything can be an adventure, it's all in how we decipher what's going on around us.

What do you see?

Kerouac sees:

"I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was--I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room I'd never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and I looked at the cracked high ceiling and really didn't know who I was for about fifteen strange seconds. I wasn't scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost. I was halfway across America, and the dividing line between the East of my youth and the West of my future, and maybe that's why it happened right there and then, that strange red afternoon."
-On The Road

Maybe that moment of not knowing who you are sounds scary,
being in the middle of no where you know, not even sure
who's looking back at you in the mirror. But you know what?
I want that feeling. That feeling would awaken me to everything around me,
It would force me to recognize the truths about myself right then
and there rather than being surrounded by the things that
make me up, the things that define me, without me saying a word.

Adventures force you to face yourself.
I welcome that challenge.
Of facing myself.
Not knowing myself.
Discovering myself.
Uncovering the real me within.
To me, it's the only way to live.

If it takes not knowing myself now to figure myself out in the end,
then so be it. At least I am on the road to something real,
rather than something that has been created and molded
for me by outside forces surrounding me since the day my
little feet came into this little town. 

Mae Jane

COMPLETELY PEACHY

An excerpt from the book Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations

August 12th

 

One day one of the Brahmins who objected to the Buddha came to listen to one of the Buddha's discourses and, while he was still speaking, walked up and down in front of him. Then he proceeded to abuse the Buddha, using quite rough language. He reviled him in every possible way he could think of. When he had finally run out of words the Buddha, who had been quietly sitting there listening, said, "Brahmin, do you ever have guests in your house?" The Brahmin answered, "Yes of course we have guests in our house." The Buddha said, "When you have guests in your house, do you offer them hospitality? Do you offer them food and drink?" The Brahmin said, "Well of course we do. Of course I offer them food and drink." The Buddha continued, "And if they don't accept your hospitality, if they don't take your food and drink, to whom does it belong?" The Brahmin said, "It belongs to me. It belongs to me." The Buddha said, "That's right, Brahmin. It belongs to you."

   

This is a good story to remember.
Any abuse, anger, or threat belongs to the one who is uttering it.
We don't have to accept it.
   

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of time, I have a hard time not allowing other peoples bad moods attack mine. If someone is being nasty to me, it instantly puts me in a nasty mood as well, allowing them the victory of bringing me down with them. This is not only awful, but pathetic too. I should have more control over my mood and emotions. I don't have to accept someone's anger and negativity because they force it upon me. I can separate myself from it, acknowledge it, and choose not to accept it. I can reject it. If I can abandon a good mood so quickly then I should definitely be able to reject a bad one from taking over. Right? It only seems logical, yet unfortunately more complex to actually implement in daily life. It's one of those never-ending self-battling things. Although, stumbling on that excerpt for today's date really did help to put things into perspective for me. It's my life after all. Ultimately, I'm the only one who should be in control of my mood.

Mae Jane

BOTHERSOME BUTTONS

Bothersome Buttons

When I look at a keyboard, it reminds me of "pushing buttons."
But a keyboard is not clothing & is essentially made up of, well, keys.
So, buttons they are not, yet we push them. But you follow still, right?


bothersome buttons

uninvited and indirect
aggravating annoyances,
these daily disasters
manifest miraculously
out of otherness;
people peck and pick,
opinions oppressed,
conflicting a calloused
demeanor, demanding
pushing, probing
back and
attack!

So I guess you could say I had a rather, long day today.
Sometimes things get to me in ways I wish they wouldn't.
Meaning, I wish I had more control over the way I felt.
Meaning, I wish I could decide to not let such and such bother me.
Meaning, I wish I could refuse his or her bad mood to attack mine.
Meaning, I wish I could embrace the negative so much that it isn't negative.

Sometimes I literally feel like a brat.
That perhaps I just feel too much or think too much.
And when things go icky, I get picky [or b*tchy!]
Or maybe that means I just have damn good standards for myself.
Whatever it is, it's me, and I've got learn to work with it.

It's interesting, albeit a bit challenging, learning as I age,
that I in fact cannot control everything about myself.

Oh well.
We win some.
We lose some.
And our buttons
will be pushed
in between some.

Mae Jane

RECIPE: LOVE THYSELF!

I've come to realize that the more I grow, age, and live, the more I change inside and out.  In ten years I won't have this perfect baby soft skin. In ten years I won't have this luscious (not completely frizzed out) hair. In ten years I will have some wrinkles, my face will look different, older of course, but different nonetheless. As a woman it's almost terrifying to know I won't look this way one day. Now I can almost understand why all those sad girls used to get cheesy Glamour Shots back in the day. If you're only going to look that good for such a small portion of your life, you might as well capture it and cherish it. So, you know, you can show the grandkids one day, "See? Grandma wasn't always this haggard and gray!"

This is a recipe about self-admiration and loving everything about your physical self. This is a chance to portray yourself in the way that you feel best describes you without just a mug shot of your face.



I was first going to print out a photo and collage around it and rework the whole thing, but I'm out of color ink. So I decided to make my best attempt at painting a self portrait. This, I realized, turned out to be better, because I had more control of what come through on the canvas. I didn't try to hide what I didn't like about myself, but just simply made the best resemblance I could. Then I added around it, which then completed the real me.


Subtle Yet Messy

based off of this photo:

ehh, sort of close!
good thing i'm really not that orange.

So, in anyway that you see fit to fully express your outside self, do it.  Be it in your journal or on canvas, or doing a themed photo shoot.  Just be sure to document it afterwards, or make the creation itself the documentation. 



xxo; Mae Jane

YOUTHFUL YEARNING

Youthful Yearning.

I used to play with that lawn mower all the time,
I used to ride that bike all the time.
I used to hoola in that hoolahoop all the time.
I used to sit in that baby carriage as a wee one,
and I used to put my dolls in it all the time.
I love those inanimate objects soooo much.
They're like my own personal little antiques.

Mae Jane

RECIPE: RE-DISCOVER SOME COLOR!

typos included hehe

here's my end result:



This recipe pretty much stumbled upon me first. I wanted an excuse to use all those number tickets (the ones you get at the deli when you wait in line).  But I absolutely hated the color they were; I hate that kind of pink. So I decided to collect everything pink I could, any variation of the color.  I found that I ended up loving pink.  So I may not be all that super girly but certain shades of pink are quite tops in my opinion now. Especially if it relates to Hello Kitty. I'm way too obsessed with that stuff. Now I like to think pink, but not too much. I still prefer green/blue over pink. And then even orange over that. Color is pretty important to me, maybe it stems from the four art classes I took in high school, or those interior design courses I took at NEIT. Color is profound though, it shapes our lives and impacts our moods, our lives practically thrive off of color.

So, what color would you pick?

xxo; Mae Jane

CONVENIENT CHANGE

Nature's Nudge

I have this book called, Daily Wisdom 365 Buddhist Inspirations.  It has daily wisdom for every day of the year.
Today's wisdom read:

The essence of our experience is change.  Change is incessant. Moment by moment life flows by and it is never the same.  Perpetual alternation is the essence of the perceptual universe.  A thought springs up in your head and half a second later, it is gone.  In comes another one, and that is gone too.  A sound strikes your ears, and then silence.  Open your eyes and the world pours in, blink and it is gone too.  People come into your life and they leave again.  Friends go, relatives die.  Your fortunes go up, and they go down.  Sometimes you win and just as often you lose.  It is incessant (continual): change, change, change.

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In my experience, change can be both good and bad, which is something we often learn the hard way.  From change comes failure, triumph, knowledge, and growth.  I often fear change, and become overly stressed and anxious when change is occuring in my life. I'm trying to turn those feelings into positive ones, to gain control of the change and make it work in my favor. Change is good. When one thing changes, another changes, and then that changes again, and so on. Change is living. If everything stayed the same we would be pretty miserable, all collectively caught in redundant ruts of the same old.  If we don't accept change, we aren't allowing room for the transformation within ourselves to form. 

Embrace change. Flow with it. Accept it. Manipulate it.
Let it benefit you in any way it can, even if it may just be minuscule.

mae jane 

RECIPE: A BLISSFUL REMINDER

last week I wrote this on my regular blog:

"note to self:
sometimes i need to remind myself why i have every reason in the world to be the happiest girl in it. sometimes i need to remind myself why it really isn't so bad. sometimes i need to remind myself that i am beyond lucky and blessed and i need to remind myself to appreciate all of that much much more."

So I did just that. And turned it into a recipe that you can use for your own journals. I'm sure we can all use a reminder like this from time to time.

Below, I have my list, though it will forever be a work in progress because there is something new that always comes along to appreciate.
We just need to be receptive to it.



So, what are you grateful for? I mean, really really grateful for?

xxo; mae jane

RECIPE: RE-INVENT YOUR ENVIRONMENT

I constantly find myself sick of my surroundings after a handful of months or a year. I desperately want to repaint everything & replace all of the old furniture with new finds and treasures. Yet I'm aware that isn't practical or logical or even that necessary. It's just me being me and wanting change. I want to fall in love with my little home all over again. We are stuck in a teeny apartment for the time being, until we get those "careers" and all that money to find the perfect little house. Until then, we need to make the best of what we have. Usually in the spring (hence spring cleaning) I end up going through all the rooms and getting rid of junk, cleaning everywhere (under everything, behind everything-- the places we dare not look all the other days), and re-arranging everything until it's just right, and different; enough for me to notice.



So that's exactly what I did last weekend. The entire process pulled me out of my mini-rut (of being so stuck and so sick of my surroundings). We've got a year or two more left here and while I truly don't mind that, I need to spruce things up for my own sanity. I implore you to try the same, even for just one room- though I must warn you, it is addicting (and oh so refreshing). Afterwards I found myself sitting back on my newly comfy couch with a glass of wine and enjoying the sights. I re-arranged artwork and framed pictures on the walls, switched frames, moved and re-organized my abundance of books, and got rid of stuff that I found I could now live without. I also like to do these things so that when the day does come to move out, it isn't this overwhelming task of we're-never-going-to-get-out-of-here!

Save this little list for yourself as some motivation and a little push to get things going when you're craving change or an escape. You will be oddly surprised in the end, (after all that ucky dirty hard work) just how much you love your "new" environment. Make it reflect the you that you are today, not the you that put it all together some years ago; you've grown & you should show it off.

Don't forget, though it's easy to lust after all the expensive things that truly "spruce" up a home, being bargain friendly and thrift happy is always the best route.  It allows you to discover treasure and indirectly start a collection of all things you.

xxo: mae jane

FEARS! RELEASED AND FORGOTTEN

I'm feel a little blocked today, mentally that is. I seem to have a lot of things fighting for my attention at the moment, things (we'll call them worry worries) that my mind can't help but obsess over and over analyze till i'm blue in the face, or something. Yet I can't seem to concentrate on anything else but these worry worries.

Earlier today, I was desperately feeling a need to rid myself of said worry worries so I wrote them down, well typed them out on my typewriter and then went ahead and lit the paper on fire. Then I blew the fire out. Then I lit it again. Then I blew it out again. I saw a pattern forming.

Apparently I wasn't ready to rid myself of those fears (worry worries) just yet. I'm still way too attached to them, and I feel that if I destroy them they will only come back to haunt me because I haven't truly dealt with them. So I decided to crumble the paper up and put it away in a little vintage tin [and then hid that]. That way I know it's there and something important, something to give attention to when my mind & heart can handle it, but for now I feel a little more in control of those worry worries, and that is good enough for me.

My fears are still there, but released from me and hidden from my sight. 
Out of sight, out of mind they say. 



 

Go ahead, release your fears. Why live with them any longer?

When I'm ready to deal with my fears head on and battle them
till they cease to exist, then I will pull that little list out, flatten it,
and paste it in my journal.  From there, only the future will tell.

xxo; mae jane