DOC-U-MENTING

OVERLOAD

It's a strange week so far. Much on my mind. Much to figure out. Much to organize. Much to attempt. Much to complete. Much to start. Much. Much. Much. I have and will have more new artsy things to share and some journal work soon. My mind has been clouded lately with life struggles. I'm trying to land just the right job that will offer a set stable schedule that I can work around going back to school. Kind of feeling stuck, job hunting is the sucky and most discouraging when all i would like to do is receive a nice weekly paycheck so I can go to school and pay my bills. Patience is seeming overrated these days as well. Hanging in there, hanging on.

Mae Jane

EDIT: Holy goodness. I just got a call back from the job that I had been hoping and wishing to get since last month. I have an interview Friday, and to think, I was practically giving up on that company. An interview with them usually means hire, so this is a great big joyous step in the right direction (plus I've got a referral to work there too). Funny thing is, for the past few weeks or so, I've been feeling really down and discouraged about my job hunt, feeling like I'd have to resort to a job I'd hate, like another one in retail or the food industry. I can't believe they finally called me. I squealed with so much joy that I scared Littlebones and she ran under the bed. Eeep! :)

 

RAIN DROPS

    Trying to get back on track is quite the commitment. I'm finding myself wanting to be young and wild, just sipping and laughing the night away with friends. I find another side of myself trying to break through, trying to control, organize, plan, create, accomplish, and pile on more. It's a contradictory process of growing. Some things are changing in my life and right now my priorities are a bit arranged. However, art is still in my top three. My education at the local college has been put on hold again, as I feel stifled and squashed and completely misunderstood by that school. You know, the one that was never one of your choices, but you went to anyway because it was convenient, close, and cheaper? It's scary when you realize you may have been doing everything opposite to your true real wants, that reside so deep inside of you that it's no wonder you would constantly overlook them (for others). Right now in my life I need to be concentrating on working, saving money that is, becoming financially secure as an independent woman. Independence is the key word here. I need to learn to understand my true nature and cultivate that path of success and dreams I continuously drool over. And I shall. It just may take me a while.
    This year went by incredibly fast, I can't believe Halloween is already gone. People have already bought Christmas presents and planning New Year's resolutions. Me? I'm just trying to make sense of it all before I become another victim of society.

;mj

BACK TO SCHOOL BLUES

It's that time, Fall Semester has started again.
Time to overload myself with information, essays, exams, and studying my little brains out.



I always try to stay as motivated as possible when it comes
to a new semester. It's hard not to get distracted, and easily overwhelmed
once you're diving head first into your major. But I'm hoping to stay on
top of everything and come out with those A's I always get.
I just tend to have a problem with... consistently going to class.
I tend to find lots of excuses to not sit in a boring stuffy room for a few hours.
Oh well, I always manage in the end.

Even though I'm fearing all the extra work I will have to do,
I am a bit excited about the courses I will be taking,
as they finally have to do with my major (English!).

Oh, and I did manage to stumble upon this
great article which can aid any college student:

10 Tips for College Students - by Steve Pavlina

Give it a read, it just may give you that nudge
to help you make it through the semester.

And...onward..class begins in a few.

XXO: Mae Jane

BIG DREAMS, SMALL GIRL

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop." -Jack Kerouac

He has long been one of my idols, heroes, obsession, etc. For too many years I have loved every word and sentence structure that's poured out of his brain. That line of his sums me up perfectly. I've been thinking about my education again. I really want to absorb as much as I can, and earn as much skills and background as I can to really submerge myself in the fields I want to go into (writing/design/art). I'm considering, one day in the future, enrolling in an online program with Academy of Art University.  There's just one problem: I have too many interests. I'm currently at my local college getting a BA in English (not teaching). But I want more for myself, and my college doesn't offer a lot on the art/design end. Sure they have some art programs, even graphic design, but, simply I do not have the time to double major and another thing is I hate the art department there and how it's run, it's just..not stimulating to me. I tried to major in Art for a few semesters and it made me hate art. I can't major in it there. In fact I don't want to major in it.

I do want to learn more about graphic design, photography, and architecture though. I think either or both of the first two would be my best bet. I need assignments and projects and criticism for these areas in order for me to grow and improve my skills. Taking online courses would be perfect for that, but you don't really get a degree, just certified. But perhaps that's still pretty good on a resume, it still proves I put the time and effort into learning more and paying the hefty price for it. The school does allow your earned online course credits to count towards earning a real degree AT the school as well.... Well, I live in New England. This intriguing school is in San Francisco. Now my mind is wandering with great ideas and dreams of taking online courses, and hopefully discovering a new passion and career path and enjoying it so much that we get to pack up and move to San Fran and get amazing jobs or something hah--big dreams! I mean, this could be years from now, but it's so enticing to think of that as an almost potential possibility.

I've also toyed with the idea of getting a MFA in Creative Writing or a MA in Publishing & Writing, depending on which of the two I was leaning more towards after earning my BA. Emerson is in Boston, that has way more potential. Though, getting a MFA or MA would be wonderful, I still want to learn more about Graphic Design and Photography and be credited and acknowledged for that. Of course, I still dream of being the type of "artist" that shows at galleries and sells prints and originals like crazy, but I know that's not a guaranteed come true dream either, it's more like my baby, the more I nurture it, the more it grows, but again I have too many interests. I think though, learning more in varying fields could even strengthen my art endeavors; definitely in fact, in the realms of graphic design and photography. It all comes down to being obsessed with creativity, whether it's writing it, painting it, photographing it, or designing it. I just want to be surrounded by it. It's the only career path that will keep me happy, fulfilled, and sane.

Big dreams for such a small girl. I'm 23 though. After I earn my BA I don't want that to be the end, I don't want to stop. I don't want to have to settle and find a boring desk job because it's just a regular Liberal Arts Degree and that's as far as I'll get.. I want to learn more and be able to offer more and achieve more. Not silly, but highly hopeful.

Oh me oh my my my myyyy...

XXO: Mae Jane