DOC-U-MENTING

OVERLOAD

It's a strange week so far. Much on my mind. Much to figure out. Much to organize. Much to attempt. Much to complete. Much to start. Much. Much. Much. I have and will have more new artsy things to share and some journal work soon. My mind has been clouded lately with life struggles. I'm trying to land just the right job that will offer a set stable schedule that I can work around going back to school. Kind of feeling stuck, job hunting is the sucky and most discouraging when all i would like to do is receive a nice weekly paycheck so I can go to school and pay my bills. Patience is seeming overrated these days as well. Hanging in there, hanging on.

Mae Jane

EDIT: Holy goodness. I just got a call back from the job that I had been hoping and wishing to get since last month. I have an interview Friday, and to think, I was practically giving up on that company. An interview with them usually means hire, so this is a great big joyous step in the right direction (plus I've got a referral to work there too). Funny thing is, for the past few weeks or so, I've been feeling really down and discouraged about my job hunt, feeling like I'd have to resort to a job I'd hate, like another one in retail or the food industry. I can't believe they finally called me. I squealed with so much joy that I scared Littlebones and she ran under the bed. Eeep! :)

 

BIG DREAMS, SMALL GIRL

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop." -Jack Kerouac

He has long been one of my idols, heroes, obsession, etc. For too many years I have loved every word and sentence structure that's poured out of his brain. That line of his sums me up perfectly. I've been thinking about my education again. I really want to absorb as much as I can, and earn as much skills and background as I can to really submerge myself in the fields I want to go into (writing/design/art). I'm considering, one day in the future, enrolling in an online program with Academy of Art University.  There's just one problem: I have too many interests. I'm currently at my local college getting a BA in English (not teaching). But I want more for myself, and my college doesn't offer a lot on the art/design end. Sure they have some art programs, even graphic design, but, simply I do not have the time to double major and another thing is I hate the art department there and how it's run, it's just..not stimulating to me. I tried to major in Art for a few semesters and it made me hate art. I can't major in it there. In fact I don't want to major in it.

I do want to learn more about graphic design, photography, and architecture though. I think either or both of the first two would be my best bet. I need assignments and projects and criticism for these areas in order for me to grow and improve my skills. Taking online courses would be perfect for that, but you don't really get a degree, just certified. But perhaps that's still pretty good on a resume, it still proves I put the time and effort into learning more and paying the hefty price for it. The school does allow your earned online course credits to count towards earning a real degree AT the school as well.... Well, I live in New England. This intriguing school is in San Francisco. Now my mind is wandering with great ideas and dreams of taking online courses, and hopefully discovering a new passion and career path and enjoying it so much that we get to pack up and move to San Fran and get amazing jobs or something hah--big dreams! I mean, this could be years from now, but it's so enticing to think of that as an almost potential possibility.

I've also toyed with the idea of getting a MFA in Creative Writing or a MA in Publishing & Writing, depending on which of the two I was leaning more towards after earning my BA. Emerson is in Boston, that has way more potential. Though, getting a MFA or MA would be wonderful, I still want to learn more about Graphic Design and Photography and be credited and acknowledged for that. Of course, I still dream of being the type of "artist" that shows at galleries and sells prints and originals like crazy, but I know that's not a guaranteed come true dream either, it's more like my baby, the more I nurture it, the more it grows, but again I have too many interests. I think though, learning more in varying fields could even strengthen my art endeavors; definitely in fact, in the realms of graphic design and photography. It all comes down to being obsessed with creativity, whether it's writing it, painting it, photographing it, or designing it. I just want to be surrounded by it. It's the only career path that will keep me happy, fulfilled, and sane.

Big dreams for such a small girl. I'm 23 though. After I earn my BA I don't want that to be the end, I don't want to stop. I don't want to have to settle and find a boring desk job because it's just a regular Liberal Arts Degree and that's as far as I'll get.. I want to learn more and be able to offer more and achieve more. Not silly, but highly hopeful.

Oh me oh my my my myyyy...

XXO: Mae Jane