DOC-U-MENTING

METAMORPHOSIS

Running with the concept of metamorphosis for the week, I've created a
new journal recipe. It's a simple one, but a reflective and inspiring one.



For mine, I found a photo of myself as a wee one, petting the goats at the
little local zoo, which has always been one of my favorite pastimes. However,
in a twist of maturity, I now collect cats and nuzzle them daily in stead. But!
One day, I plan on owning some land, and a little barn, and a goat or two
to love of my very own. For now though, kitty meows will do. :)

"From petting goat butts to blurry lucy cats...
two to twenty three..."

What's your metamorphosis?

XXO: Mae Jane

DOODLE DAYS

So I've been doodling lately. (These are from the past few days)
I decided to just start drawing again,  allowing anything to flow from my pen to the page.
Once I create something I love I usually do a semi-series on it, neglecting new ideas.




XXO: Mae Jane

P.S. Littlebones makes for a nice desktop, hello iKitty:

METAMORPHOSiS

I'm flirting with the concept of metamorphosis this week.
Especially since autumn is creeping in, changing one element to another.

metamorphosis:

1 a : change of physical form, structure, or substance especially by
supernatural means b : a striking alteration in appearance, character, or circumstances
2 : a typically marked and more or less abrupt developmental change
in the form or structure of an animal (as a butterfly or a frog) occurring
subsequent to birth or hatching.

I'm going to spend some time reflecting on this.

XXO: Mae Jane

FWUFF & WORDS

little bones

a cotton puff structured by
little bones, that are masked
by a thickness, airy as a cloud,
topped like a cherry with a pink dot,
radars roaring, subtle heart beats snoring,
the water belly rises and dips,
up then down then up again.
noisy squeaks escape like a rusty
radiator in your grandmother's old house,
percolating in the warmth of the
sun-kissed wooden floors, golden
and toasty like embers in the dawn.
pure and pristine, white morsels of fur
glimmer, as if reflecting fallen dreams,
smelling as sweet as marshmallow melting,
spotted with milky way dew drops
indecisive in hue, blue, or green, green or blue,
always there to greet, nudge, and knead,
kitty sits there waiting for me.

So, my latest poetry assignment was on imagery (free verse). I had to pick an object,
and I was happy to see that "a cat" was on the list to choose from, so naturally
I decided to use my words and senses around my one and only, littlebones.

XXO: Mae Jane

Poetry Homework;

Since I have to write a few poems for my advance poetry workshop course I figured I'd post them here. This poem is about the definition of poetry/writing poetry (I chose this out of a list of topics pfft). My style tends to be more free verse with sporadic gestures at rhyming and alliterations; what can I say, it's me. 

Air & Alliterations
(a poem about writing poetry)

words and air
words and air.

words like air
float and hang
necessary and
unforgiving.

place them together
tiny and tight,
tragic and tame,
and they become
more.

give them a beat
and a bit of heat;
could be sweet,
could be deceit.
repeat and delete.

make it sound
the same, the
words tongue-twisting themselves together
and they'll call
you a genius.

make it messy,
raw
and real,
and they say, you
whine
too much,

shut up.

XXO: Mae Jane

POSSESSED

"An artist is a creature driven by demons.
He doesn't know why they choose him
and he's usually too busy to wonder why."
-William Faulkner

 

I want to apologize for the lack of updates and journal work lately.
I've been consumed by so much, so many responsibilities, goals,
emotions, burdens, desires, fears, engagements, and social
activities. With this week finally starting as the first full week
of the semester, I'm starting to feel the weight. I already have
so much reading and writing to do, and that doesn't bother me,
really, but in order for me to stay on track this semester, I need
to start off on the right foot.

I'm going to take a mini break for a few days every now
and then to devote to my courses, and not to mention I also work a
regular day job as well, (which was part time and is now going
up in hours, which is also a good thing). So the truth is, I'm going to
be a little frazzled with trying to balance everything in a new way now.
I had a certain schedule before, more free time, so I had my own
method to the madness of how and when I worked on my projects,
but now I need to reorganize myself, and rework my days so
that I can manage to accomplish everything it is that I want to do
that day. I have a lot of goals, too many, and usually, a
handful going on at once, and I love that, but I need to
avoid the crash and burn. Especially now.

I will try to update as often as I can, whether it be daily,
or every few days, I will say or post something until I can
at least manage to create some order to the chaos.
I have lots of little inspirations I am already collecting
from my courses that I'm eager to share too.

I will also be needing to devote some of my time towards
my artwork again. I feel myself growing and heading
in a new direction, taking what I know and fall back on
and combining it with new ideas and depths.

I'm trying to end up on the path of complete
acceptance, with an embrace for life, and every
moment as free and magical as possible.

I am done worrying about the past.
I am done worrying about the future.
I am in the here and now and that is
where my attention should be.

So, please pardon my moments of disappearing.
I can promise though, that with these little breaks
I will be spending more time in my journals and
discovering new wonders to share with you all.

I can only grow as these days pass.

XXO: Mae Jane

EMBRACING THIS LIFE

Dusty Days

"Accept everything that arises. Accept your feelings, even the ones
you wish you did not have. Accept your experiences, even the ones
you hate. Don't condemn yourself for having human flaws and failings.
Learn to see all the phenomena in the mind as being perfectly natural
and understandable. Try to exercise a disinterested acceptance at all
times with respect to everything you experience."

-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

It is what it is.
This has been on my mind lately.

When I find myself over analyzing things or worrying or
wasting any time on something not worth it, I hear those
words in my head. It is what it is. And it is.
So why fight or force any of it?

I've been inspired by a slew of elements lately that have
sort of, reawakened my soul and quest for life.
I want to start living now, instead of agonizing over the future,
or worse, the past. It's time to embrace my environment
and true nature, not cover it up with what I think I'm supposed
to be doing or how I think I'm supposed to be feeling.
It's time to just let it be.

It is what it is.

Mae Jane

I'm going to reflect on this a bit more...

BACK TO SCHOOL BLUES

It's that time, Fall Semester has started again.
Time to overload myself with information, essays, exams, and studying my little brains out.



I always try to stay as motivated as possible when it comes
to a new semester. It's hard not to get distracted, and easily overwhelmed
once you're diving head first into your major. But I'm hoping to stay on
top of everything and come out with those A's I always get.
I just tend to have a problem with... consistently going to class.
I tend to find lots of excuses to not sit in a boring stuffy room for a few hours.
Oh well, I always manage in the end.

Even though I'm fearing all the extra work I will have to do,
I am a bit excited about the courses I will be taking,
as they finally have to do with my major (English!).

Oh, and I did manage to stumble upon this
great article which can aid any college student:

10 Tips for College Students - by Steve Pavlina

Give it a read, it just may give you that nudge
to help you make it through the semester.

And...onward..class begins in a few.

XXO: Mae Jane

RECENT SCRIBBLES

Meet my new friend: The Skelety-Ghostie, or something like that.
I was feeling rather spooky as I was listening to The Honorary Title.
Kitty and I sat by the open window as my mind wandered and
my hand and pen took over.



Is it hard to read? :)

Sitting on the floor as we feel Tuesday's late morning breeze grab our faces.
The smells of smoke and flowers, the hiss of tires on pavement- It's an
odd combination. People walking to and from the bus stop as I'm blasting
The Honorary Title, just swaying my head as I wish this weekend didn't end.
Spraying Love's Babysoft because it's familiar and comforting while kitty
scans the trees for birds. Realizing I'm too easily distracted--how will I
accomplish anything? I'm at some crossroads but all I can do is hesitate.
Unsure. Unsure. Unsure. Lost. Confused. But almost ready, almost.
Be my nudge, be my rock, be my hero, be my reason. Just be real.
That's all it comes down to. Just always be real and never forget about me.
Ever. I know I can be easily forgotten. I don't want to be this anymore.
I need to get back to my roots. Back to my sanity. Back to the real reality.
There is a hole inside of me, masked by a tiny ribcage and overcompensating
beating heart. It's time to dance, to let go, to grow, to dance and grow,
dance and grow, beautiful demise.

XXO: Mae Jane

HELLO iS THAT YOU?

In the movie Lost In Translation (which I am obsessed with)
Bill Murray's character said something I will never forget:



"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you."

It couldn't be anymore true either.
I think half the problem with this quarter-life crisis is that
I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and what it is I really want.

I'm constantly changing my mind and worrying
if I'm cheating myself or worse, fooling myself.

It's hard to know if we're ever on the right path.
It's easiest to stick with the familiar, but then we will never learn or grow.
It's scary trying to break free of the mold that I've subconsciously put myself in.

Note(s) To Self:

Accept everything with grace.
Embrace it all and appreciate it. Love it.
Dive deeper and let go of the restraints.
If you want it, go get it.
If you have responsibility, live up to it.
If you want to self-indulge, do it.
Don’t hold back but don’t push too hard.
Your heart sets the boundaries. Work with it.
Remember: You can't force what isn't there. So let it be.

(*it = can refer to just about everything).

XXO: Mae Jane