DOC-U-MENTING

MESSY MUCH?

Forever & always, a messy girl.

No matter how much I try to stay on top of
such annoying tasks as putting laundry away
and keeping a neat room, it will just never happen.

It's not in me to be perfectly tidy all the time.
Pretty much, at the end of every week, this is
what our room looks like. Clothes everywhere.

Oh well. Add that to the Quarter Life Crisis:
I'm 23 and STILL can't keep my bedroom clean.

I think I know what I'm doing tomorrow morning....

Mae Jane

AWESOME AUTUMN!

When spring was in bloom and summer was inches away earlier this year, I once made a list of warm weather must do's. Sadly, I didn't get to do a lot of things on that wonderful list.

The weather was extremely humid during most of the summer and it practically rained every weekend. I also took three different summer courses at my local college, as well as picked up more hours at work. Needless to say, I was busy. Too busy. But that's okay. You see, Autumn is my favorite season of the year. It's during Autumn that I want to be outside, run through leaves, and pick out pumpkins. I think almost everyone is itching for Fall, so I've decided to run with my list making tendencies and create a list of Autumn Must Do's for myself!



I'm sure I will be adding more to the list once new ideas come to me.
For now though, these are some definite things I must, must do.
I'm not slacking this season, it's time to fully enjoy life!

And truthfully, there's still plenty of warm, sunshiny weather ahead.
Perhaps I can cross off a few more things from my Summer List. :)

What are your Fall Must-Do's?

XXO: Mae Jane

PAW PUFFS

My mind is muddled.
With too many thoughts.

I would like to take a catnap
that lasts for days.
In and out dreaming of
easier times and sweet living.

The kitty has such a zen life.
My life is so chaotic.
I need to gain more control.
I need to gain more understanding.

I constantly feel like I have to start over.
How lame is that?

Thank goodness for tomorrow.
I always reassemble myself
on Wednesdays.
Maybe it's because the day is mine.
Completely mine.
For just one more week, at least.

Oh, Fall Semester I don't know if I'm ready for you yet.

Balance. Balance. It's all about balance.

AWAKEN

Driving home from the market with the mister.

In some sects of Hinduism, people practice a twilight
meditation at dusk and dawn known as the sandhya.

These are steps you can take to practice for yourself:
(taken from the book, Glow Guide: Meditation)

- Get up 15 minutes before you normally would.

- Take a warm shower, brush your teeth, and have a glass of water.

- Clear your mind and body with a breathing exercise.
Breathe in for four counts and out for four counts.
Do this for one minute.

- Recite a favorite poem, quote, or song.
(The Hindus usually read from ancient scriptures,
but speaking the words of a favorite poet or
musician will do just fine).

- Offer thanks to yourself and to all human beings.

- Do a five-minute meditation using a focal point of your choice.
The Hindus often use the symbol of Ganesh, the elephant
god who represents the ability to transcend any obstacles or
barriers on the road to wisdom.

- Start your day energized, refreshed, and focused!

Try it out. I'm going to tomorrow morning :)

Mae Jane

SURROUNDING ENVIRONMENTS

Utopia:
noun- an imagined place or state of things in where everything is perfect.

Fact: Perfect does NOT exist.

When I saw this picture in one of my interior design magazines
I was transfixed. I wanted that moment. That moment of freedom
to lounge in the most amazingly designed and comfortable looking
couch on the planet! Surrounded by walls that are glass which
showcase an array of trees and land. There is something so moving
about an environment like this. There is something so compelling
about the design of the furniture. It calls for relaxation,
meditation, and appreciation of everything that is.
I immediately pasted this image into my journal:



When I think about living in a home like that, surrounded by
such beauty, inside and outside, I get a sense of what it is
I want my environment to be like, aesthetically, and
mentally; a state of mind and a way to live.

Creating the perfect home would be impossible, even
with amazing furniture like that. It's about choosing to
make your home, truly a home. Home is what we
resonate with and find our selves familiarly drawn to.
Home is where we truly feel ourselves and motivated,
inspired, and compelled to just BE and LIVE.

This is my ideal home:

  I want a free life. Where there is beauty in everything. Surrounded by the natural, antique, modern, vintage, and retro. I can wake up each morning with a freshness found only in my lungs; There exists no stress, no worry, and no fear. There is only love, appreciation, serenity and a warm humor. A bond that exists between everything, so poetic and Zen.  Adventure, and a spontaneous excitement resides in every corner, offering new and shiny ideas and wonderments; There is an herbal cleanliness  to everything, being as Green conscientious as possible, There is peace. A pure truth. It is tranquil and cozy. Art and literature fill the crevices, technology and design reign supreme amongst the natural organic objects; Success and accomplishments aren’t hard to find here, for only passion and determination win in the end; Everything is wholesome, There is no hectic rush, no emptiness, life is bursting everywhere.  It is a place where I will feel my best every day, mind, body, and soul. I will feel my strongest and challenged, inspired, and motivated. I will be found within myself, within my environment, within all that surrounds me. LIFE will be lived here.

One day I swear I will own these couches, as many as I can!
They are speaking to me, BUY ME, LOVE ME, SLEEP ON ME!

Create your own Utopia,
and tweak the rules.
Live the Life you want to,
how you want to.

After all, home is what we make of it.
What's your ideal home?

XXO: Mae Jane

TO-DOING OVER AND OVER AGAIN

The To-Doing Never Ends

It seems to be, that no matter how many lists I write,
and how many things I cross off of them, I am
always rewriting the same lists, day after day, week after week.

I need to work on time management and finding a way
of making the dull chores hold more meaning and discovery.
Uh, what can one discover while cleaning the kitty box?
Ewwie.

Read More @ Zen Habits
How To Actually Execute Your To-Do List,
or Why Writing It Down Doesn't Actually Get it Done

I will be implementing these wonderful tips and strategies as
well as tweaking and creating some of my own,
that you know, relate more to me and my tasks :)
Expect more on this topic soon!

Oh, and if you haven't already, do make the blog Zen Habits a daily read.

XXO: Mae Jane

BURN AND DESTROY

"The way to create art is to burn and destroy
ordinary concepts and to substitute them
with new truths that run down from the top of the head
and out from the heart."

- Charles Bukowski

from, Sifting Through The Madness For The Word, The Line, The Way

Go ahead. Destroy something,
and substitute it with the truth that
burns from within your heart.
That's creating.

Mae Jane

RULES FOR A SWEET LIFE:

Be kinder. Be more patient. Laugh more. Take more deep breaths. Smile often.
Frown less. Take more chances. Throw in a few risks. Be less afraid. Don't be timid.
Be bold. Be strong. Find your confidence. Take pride and don't forget to cherish. Stop time.
Be a kid. Be a dreamer. Try. Try again. Fail. Learn. Try. Try again. Succeed. Treasure.
Let go. Be free. Never forget. Always forgive. Chances are opportunities. Capture. Save.
Love. Live. Dare. Put yourself first, being true, though selfish only in moderation.
Always better yourself in all aspects. Accept your flaws and tweak them.
Always be fair and honest, respect and truth. Live for today, not yesterday.
Do not worry about tomorrow for it's inevitable. Be open, brave, and optimistic.
Make the ordinary magical. Make the bitter sweet. Make the simple bold.
Make the ugly beautiful. Make the old new.
Make the most of what you've got,
because at least you have that.

These are some core rules I wrote for myself. The list is always being added to.
And that is good. We all have our own rules, codes, and morals to live by.
Why not throw out everything you've been told to live by, and think
of what kinds of rules you want to live with, the kinds
that will make you a better person because you want to be.

Live by your own rules.
Not theirs.
Not his.
Not hers.
Not even mine.

Take inspiration and guidance and wisdom from those around you,
learn from them and their mistakes and triumphs.
Follow with your heart, live with your heart, not blindly.

XXO: Mae Jane

OH SWEETNESS

The Sweet Life

I'm constantly reminding myself that life is what we make of it.
If we want magic and beauty and some sweetness to our days,
we need to cultivate it, acknowledge it and appreciate it.
Or else we will just end up overlooking life's little sweet treats.

Raspberry tea cookies have become my latest indulgence.
But I must profess that they are the absolute best companion
for days your body forces you to stay in bed and rest.

So, don't hesitate,
even if you are too busy
or too ill to get out of bed.

Find the magic.
Create the beauty.
It's there.
Behind you.
Next to you.
Underneath you.
On you.
Above you.
Within you.

Yes,
it's within you.
Just unlock it.
Break through that shell.
Be free.
No matter where you are.

Mae Jane

THE WORLD @ YOUR FINGERTIPS

Oh the WORLD! It's at your fingertips.

I often dream about where I hope to travel one day.
I really, really, really want to go to Europe.
I mean, who doesn't? I am obsessed with the
architecture and cultures. And that whole crazy
idea of backpacking through Europe with no
plans or security? That appeals to me.
That rich spontaneity and pure discovery, are
the very things I've been searching for my whole life.

One day, I hope to escape the east coast and cross
the seas to other lands, new sights and faces.

Until then (that time being when I have the funds
and time to devote to such an adventure)
I will have to re-discover my home town
and local curiosities. Often, I overlook
the very streets I drive down because I'm
so used to them. Though, I'm sure if I
just look, I could find something new each time.

Anything can be an adventure, it's all in how we decipher what's going on around us.

What do you see?

Kerouac sees:

"I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was--I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room I'd never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and I looked at the cracked high ceiling and really didn't know who I was for about fifteen strange seconds. I wasn't scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost. I was halfway across America, and the dividing line between the East of my youth and the West of my future, and maybe that's why it happened right there and then, that strange red afternoon."
-On The Road

Maybe that moment of not knowing who you are sounds scary,
being in the middle of no where you know, not even sure
who's looking back at you in the mirror. But you know what?
I want that feeling. That feeling would awaken me to everything around me,
It would force me to recognize the truths about myself right then
and there rather than being surrounded by the things that
make me up, the things that define me, without me saying a word.

Adventures force you to face yourself.
I welcome that challenge.
Of facing myself.
Not knowing myself.
Discovering myself.
Uncovering the real me within.
To me, it's the only way to live.

If it takes not knowing myself now to figure myself out in the end,
then so be it. At least I am on the road to something real,
rather than something that has been created and molded
for me by outside forces surrounding me since the day my
little feet came into this little town. 

Mae Jane

BE A STAR

Be a STAR! Only you have the keys.I found this star at an antique store a few years ago. I was immediately attracted to it. Sometimes I put a small candle holder in the rings. But I always leave those keys dangling from it. It's a reminder to myself.Only I hold the keys to my happiness and success.Not anyone else, not even my loved ones.Just me.If I want to be great, someone better than who I am today,then I need to do something about it.I need to take the necessary actions and steps to make it a reality.Remember that.It's only ever up to you and you alone.Everyone else can either believe in you or doubt you.No matter what they choose though, let it motivate you ten fold. Mae Jane

BE FREE OR BE STUCK?

My Hubbyman is the sweetest. He got me a new Moleskine journal for our anniversary. Does he know me or does he know me?! Journal number 5 is now alive!

Here is the first post:


I hand wrote one of my favorite excerpts from the book, Revolution on Canvas

It reads:

"I once met a man and asked him if it were true that when you get older you become wiser. He said that the only answer was to get older. Looking back to when I was a kid, I realize that my ignorance was a virtue. I saw the world in colors and shapes. Now my nerves keep me awake at night. I think about the future and what I want to do with my life. I asked the same man if he had any advice for me. He told me to quit living and start breathing. "Look around at the life you lead. Listen to the wind and the trees. Take time to smell the ocean breeze and sleep on the beach." He said that the beauty of this world was in its complexity and that our lives for the most part are ordinary. He told me to never stop painting, but mostly never stop creating. "You're as free as your mind will let you be. So, what's holding you back?" he asked, "fear or laziness??"

-Derrick W. Sherman of the band The Reunion Show

I need to re-read this every single day.

Those words mean so much to me. I remember reading this three years ago and feeling completely inspired to just live. In fact this whole book changed my life. I will definitely be adding some more of my favorite excerpts in future posts.

Think about it though. What's holding you back?
Fear, laziness, or both?

For me, I'd have to say fear. I'm lazy, but not too lazy to live. (most of the time)..

XXO; Mae Jane

TIME TO EMBRACE

Tick, tock, don't you ever stop?

I don't think I'm alone here, when I say that sometimes, I just wish time would stop. That we could just put everything on hold. The minutes going by. The hours. The days! It all goes by too fast. I never have enough time to accomplish everything I want to never mind need to in a single day.  I think my problem is that whenever I am doing something, whatever it is, I focus so much on it and submerge myself so deep into it that time just literally, flies. Even if I'm not having fun! It took me over an hour to pay our bills today. Though, this is because I like to be exceptionally organized and file everything accordingly, as well as calculating how much and when. Bills are so tedious, not to mention purely evil. It's a shame they can take up that much of my time!

Just think, if I could just push some "pause" button on time, I could catch up on everything that's been weighing my mind down. I could write up those future DOC.U.MENTING posts that have been simmering in my brain. I could start and finish those art pieces that have been patiently floating around in my mind. I could catch up on cleaning, because after all, no matter how many times I clean this little home of ours, something is always out of place.

Though it is the inevitable tick tock of the clock that pushes me to keep reaching and striving to accomplish something and perhaps everything. I have this horrible anxious fear that time will just end before I'm ready. That before I know it, I'll be 75 and wishing I did everything different. I dread that and hope it never happens. Heck, I'm doing everything in my power now to try and make sure that doesn't happen!

And this is why it's called a quarter-life crisis.

Another thing, I think the whole world just needs to take a moment and stop. Stop being selfish, ignorant, busy, blind, and afraid. Everyone should just stop and then start up again by doing this instead:




This video is amazing, please watch it, it could possibly change your life.
Mine did.

I must also report that I finally bought a domain name for this site! I was bummed when I couldn't get www.doc.u.menting.com (wouldn't allow the . ), but I was able to get www.doc-u-menting.com It still gives the general message that this site is about documenting about YOUrself. So that makes me happy. I just have to wait 24-48 hours on my domain host to process it all, but pretty soon it should be up and running, and when it is you will be able to access the site just by going to the url: www.doc-u-menting.com! It makes me very very happy! I wasn't too thrilled to have this site be attached to my current art and blog site, The Little Fawn. I love this site and project so much that it needs it's own identity! I will also be ordering some Moo Cards for the site in the very near future, so if anyone is going to want some be sure to watch for the future post when they finally arrive!

Mae Jane

WATERSTAINS

Waterstains: The Earth Within

Take 1 part blue food coloring
Take 1 part yellow food coloring
Drip into large bowl of h2o
Swirl rapidly with a knife
Step back, watch what happens.
How the colors dance and
blend together to form something
different.

and some other versions:



However, it was the first picture that inspired the metaphor of The Earth Within.

I got to thinking about how in order for something to exist, it is essentially a combination, or a blending if you will, of various aspects, elements, characteristics, etc. Something cannot exist without something else aiding it. For instance, plant life needs water and sunshine for it to grow and ultimately be alive. The same with rain, it needs moisture from the oceans and a sky to fall from. Even human beings. We are a combination of chromosomes, blood cells, organs, tissue, bones, cognitive thinking, etc. Love? It's a blend of two people, emotions, desire, respect. Friendship? Same thing, it's people, connection, loyalty. The earth? Nature, weather, animals, human beings, so on and so forth. Do you see what I'm saying? Even anger cannot exist without a combination of factors. You need the emotion, the trigger, the breaking point, the action which causes the result.
A final result, one result.

In order to understand anything, respect anything, and appreciate anything we have to be able to separate these combinations and fusions of elements, feelings, and matter. The earth is a thing, one thing, yet exists partly because of the sun. What is the sun then? It is one thing, yet again though, a blending of various elements, in this case, hydrogen, helium, and other components. I'm not trying to spat out a science lesson here. It's just that, when we dissect something, anything, whether its a feeling, desire, connection, something tangible, etc, we are understanding how something becomes what it is, how it works, and becomes whole, and one.

Think of it this way. You can't have the good without the bad because if not for the bad, you would never know what good really was, without something opposite to compare it to. The earth is what it is because it is not the Sun, or the Moon. And ultimately, the same can be said for the personalities of people. Personalities are again, a combination of varying components. In order to understand a person, we seek to understand what makes them up, what they like, and dislike. When we do that, we are separating these things from the one personality itself.

If we were to do this with ourselves and own lives, perhaps we'd be able to better understand ourselves. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to embrace everything that comes our way, the beautiful and ugly. Life might not be so overwhelming if we can just stop and disentangle everything going on once in a while. Enforce some order to the chaos, gain some control over it. After all, if we are ever to have control over our own lives, we first have to understand what the heck is going on. Ignorance is bliss, but it doesn't solve anything.

Mae Jane   

COMPLETELY PEACHY

An excerpt from the book Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations

August 12th

 

One day one of the Brahmins who objected to the Buddha came to listen to one of the Buddha's discourses and, while he was still speaking, walked up and down in front of him. Then he proceeded to abuse the Buddha, using quite rough language. He reviled him in every possible way he could think of. When he had finally run out of words the Buddha, who had been quietly sitting there listening, said, "Brahmin, do you ever have guests in your house?" The Brahmin answered, "Yes of course we have guests in our house." The Buddha said, "When you have guests in your house, do you offer them hospitality? Do you offer them food and drink?" The Brahmin said, "Well of course we do. Of course I offer them food and drink." The Buddha continued, "And if they don't accept your hospitality, if they don't take your food and drink, to whom does it belong?" The Brahmin said, "It belongs to me. It belongs to me." The Buddha said, "That's right, Brahmin. It belongs to you."

   

This is a good story to remember.
Any abuse, anger, or threat belongs to the one who is uttering it.
We don't have to accept it.
   

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of time, I have a hard time not allowing other peoples bad moods attack mine. If someone is being nasty to me, it instantly puts me in a nasty mood as well, allowing them the victory of bringing me down with them. This is not only awful, but pathetic too. I should have more control over my mood and emotions. I don't have to accept someone's anger and negativity because they force it upon me. I can separate myself from it, acknowledge it, and choose not to accept it. I can reject it. If I can abandon a good mood so quickly then I should definitely be able to reject a bad one from taking over. Right? It only seems logical, yet unfortunately more complex to actually implement in daily life. It's one of those never-ending self-battling things. Although, stumbling on that excerpt for today's date really did help to put things into perspective for me. It's my life after all. Ultimately, I'm the only one who should be in control of my mood.

Mae Jane

PRECIPITATION

I'm starting to love the rain more and more.
Maybe because it's been scaring away the heat.

I think having a cute umbrella would also ward off
any rainy day blues. Plus, Buddha reminds me to
embrace everything that comes my way, even if it's
as dreary and as gloomy as the rain is.



XXO: Mae Jane

P.S. I've been extra busy as of late, but I am working on journal stuff, journal recipes, new artwork, writing, and some other little projects. Expect some decent posts in the near future :}

Happy Weekend!

Own Confusion

"I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion."
- Jack Kerouac

For some reason, that quote seems so so very fitting for this image.
I don't know why really. It just popped into my head as I looked at the photo.
I remember that the weather was sunny yet dewy, and a bit breezy.
A plethora of such and such going on and on about the tree.
I love that tree. I remember when it was just a baby.

My mind is mumbled.
All I can say is that I am in such gleeful bliss
that I have the next few weeks free from school
to devote entirely (well aside from that job of mine)
to painting, writing, photographing, collaging, journaling, and doc.u.menting!
I'll actually have some real time to put into the site.
This thrills me because honestly, this creative jazz
is what fuels my passion for life, it just ignites me.

I'm such a weirdo.
Today I document that:
Everything is DEFINITELY not as it seems.

Again, it just popped into my head.

Goodnight!

mj

BOTHERSOME BUTTONS

Bothersome Buttons

When I look at a keyboard, it reminds me of "pushing buttons."
But a keyboard is not clothing & is essentially made up of, well, keys.
So, buttons they are not, yet we push them. But you follow still, right?


bothersome buttons

uninvited and indirect
aggravating annoyances,
these daily disasters
manifest miraculously
out of otherness;
people peck and pick,
opinions oppressed,
conflicting a calloused
demeanor, demanding
pushing, probing
back and
attack!

So I guess you could say I had a rather, long day today.
Sometimes things get to me in ways I wish they wouldn't.
Meaning, I wish I had more control over the way I felt.
Meaning, I wish I could decide to not let such and such bother me.
Meaning, I wish I could refuse his or her bad mood to attack mine.
Meaning, I wish I could embrace the negative so much that it isn't negative.

Sometimes I literally feel like a brat.
That perhaps I just feel too much or think too much.
And when things go icky, I get picky [or b*tchy!]
Or maybe that means I just have damn good standards for myself.
Whatever it is, it's me, and I've got learn to work with it.

It's interesting, albeit a bit challenging, learning as I age,
that I in fact cannot control everything about myself.

Oh well.
We win some.
We lose some.
And our buttons
will be pushed
in between some.

Mae Jane

RECIPE: BACKYARD TREASURE

Let your backyard take you on a journey. Discover something new, or look at something old
in a whole new light. Capture. Collect. Document. Reinvent. Create.




XXO: Mae Jane

PEEKABOOPAWS

Pausing Paws.

Often we are too busy, too consumed, and preoccupied to notice the little things.
Like specks of color in concrete. There's magic and beauty in everything around is,
we just need to be receptive to it. We need to be willing to notice these wonders,
and mostly be aware of appreciating them.

Every now and then it is ideal to take just a moment, a breather, a step back, a pause in time.
We could all use these interludes throughout our days. It reminds us that peace still exists,
even if sometimes it just needs to be cultivated.  We can't be afraid to pause, always
consumed with being on the go, and in constant motion. 

Yes, it is important to make the most of your time, soaking up everything you can,
accomplishing responsibilities, goals, and then some. But if we subject ourselves to
being a broken record on repeat then we will surely miss so so much. 
Stop. Look. Listen. Absorb. Admire.

XXO: Mae Jane

P.S. Sorry about missing the Daily Discovery for Fri & Sat.
Unfortunately sometimes I can't control all of my time, and before I know it,
I run out before I've tackled everything I wanted to. Which is exactly
what inspired this post. Busy, busy, busy, sometimes really isn't for me.



Sunday somethings from the backyard.

5PM ESCAPE

5 PM ESCAPE

I love this curtain.
It is so bright and obnoxious,
hot pink and orange.
But when the sun shines through,
it looks amazing, and certain things
in the room turn into a rosy pink hue
or citrus orange glow.
To me, it's a bit soothing, and
a bit inspiring, saying
hey you! get up! do something!

But I'm so..pooped. I've done plenty.
I took my last essay exam for my
philosophy course on gods today.
hooray. next week i take the final
and i am done done done with that
course; credits achieved (with an A!)

I feel so busy lately. So, on the go.
It's easy to get used to when I'm
actually, on the go, in the middle
of whatever it is, but at the end
of the day, like now, quarter till 8 pm,
I feel so tuckered, so drained, and
emptied of all my motivation.

maybe i lack sleep. and proper
nourishment and those 8 glasses
of water a day. my chi is in disarray
from clutter of boxes and laundry.
tomorrow i work. and then i clean.
and prepare cupcakes or cake, and
put up decorations; for it is a
friend's birthday. a night of escapism.

anyway, that was babble, and i need
to eat some late night dinner, and
cleanse the face and veg out with the kitty
while waiting for the mister to come home.

g'night,
mae jane

BIG DREAMS, SMALL GIRL

"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop." -Jack Kerouac

He has long been one of my idols, heroes, obsession, etc. For too many years I have loved every word and sentence structure that's poured out of his brain. That line of his sums me up perfectly. I've been thinking about my education again. I really want to absorb as much as I can, and earn as much skills and background as I can to really submerge myself in the fields I want to go into (writing/design/art). I'm considering, one day in the future, enrolling in an online program with Academy of Art University.  There's just one problem: I have too many interests. I'm currently at my local college getting a BA in English (not teaching). But I want more for myself, and my college doesn't offer a lot on the art/design end. Sure they have some art programs, even graphic design, but, simply I do not have the time to double major and another thing is I hate the art department there and how it's run, it's just..not stimulating to me. I tried to major in Art for a few semesters and it made me hate art. I can't major in it there. In fact I don't want to major in it.

I do want to learn more about graphic design, photography, and architecture though. I think either or both of the first two would be my best bet. I need assignments and projects and criticism for these areas in order for me to grow and improve my skills. Taking online courses would be perfect for that, but you don't really get a degree, just certified. But perhaps that's still pretty good on a resume, it still proves I put the time and effort into learning more and paying the hefty price for it. The school does allow your earned online course credits to count towards earning a real degree AT the school as well.... Well, I live in New England. This intriguing school is in San Francisco. Now my mind is wandering with great ideas and dreams of taking online courses, and hopefully discovering a new passion and career path and enjoying it so much that we get to pack up and move to San Fran and get amazing jobs or something hah--big dreams! I mean, this could be years from now, but it's so enticing to think of that as an almost potential possibility.

I've also toyed with the idea of getting a MFA in Creative Writing or a MA in Publishing & Writing, depending on which of the two I was leaning more towards after earning my BA. Emerson is in Boston, that has way more potential. Though, getting a MFA or MA would be wonderful, I still want to learn more about Graphic Design and Photography and be credited and acknowledged for that. Of course, I still dream of being the type of "artist" that shows at galleries and sells prints and originals like crazy, but I know that's not a guaranteed come true dream either, it's more like my baby, the more I nurture it, the more it grows, but again I have too many interests. I think though, learning more in varying fields could even strengthen my art endeavors; definitely in fact, in the realms of graphic design and photography. It all comes down to being obsessed with creativity, whether it's writing it, painting it, photographing it, or designing it. I just want to be surrounded by it. It's the only career path that will keep me happy, fulfilled, and sane.

Big dreams for such a small girl. I'm 23 though. After I earn my BA I don't want that to be the end, I don't want to stop. I don't want to have to settle and find a boring desk job because it's just a regular Liberal Arts Degree and that's as far as I'll get.. I want to learn more and be able to offer more and achieve more. Not silly, but highly hopeful.

Oh me oh my my my myyyy...

XXO: Mae Jane